I feel so much better mentally since embracing the sexual thoughts and feelings I get, I think I've finally accepted that I'm (at least) gay. Anyway, most recently I've been indulging in cd and trans content and exploring my feminine side. I'm not saying I want to be a woman or anything but wearing womens clothes is really fucking hot, I've even bought lingerie and tried it on for myself. I don't look amazing but I feel fucking sexy wearing it. I get so turned on by the feeling of a thong going up my ass that I get hard and they don't fit right. It gets so bad that I start leaking and have to take them off so I don't ruin them. I would love it if I could really get dressed up someday and have hair and makeup done aswell. I did straighten my hair just to see if it looked any better as it looks so bad at the moment due to me growing it out and not knowing what to do with it. Anyway it did look better, I thought it looked awesome actually but it kept getting in my eyes so I think I need to let it grow more before I straighten it again. Anyway as I was saying, I would love to get dressed up someday and have a makeover, I think it would be so fun and exciting especially if I had someone else to do it with. I would love to make some friends with similar interests, maybe they could help me with my ipl too an get those hard to reach places. Uh I hate body hair now, I just want it gone. I wasn't expecting to go into this much detail in this blog and as you can probably tell I'm not the best at writing but I'm trying my best here and everything I've wrote so far is relevant to what I really want to talk about in this blog in particular which is the live chat. That's right, I've been spending alot of my time recently on this site in the live chat with other members. It's mainly just sharing pictures and gifs that we find here but it's alot of fun an quite addictive. Of course I've been spending all my time in a chat just for crossdessers and sissies, uh it's so fucking hot and it feels so normal to be in there. I love seeing all the content other members share. I can't get enough of the cd/sissy content, it makes me want to get more in touch with my feminine side. I mean... Just for fun. It's so hot seeing the gurls in the gifs fucking their asses with dildos or sucking a guys dick or just getting fucked by a big alpha. I forget all about my life an fantasize about going off somewhere, getting dressed up an having some fun, sometimes it's just me and another gurl enjoying eachother and othertimes me with a guy getting my ass pounded. I love browsing the endless galleries of cd/sissy gifs, especially the ones with captions. They make me want to be feminized even more. Fuck I'm such an addict. I can't help it. Whenever I see a gif of a big dick I just want to be there sucking it or be bent over taking it. How isit even possible to want some dick this bad? Anyway I dont want this blog to be too long, people might not read it. I'll end it here for now. Thanks for reading xx
I want to make a new profile where i can explore my feminine side more an have a different name to go with it. First i need to come up with a name, what would she be called? 🤔 i dont know yet but ive always wanted to try getting dressed up an wear makeup. Once when i was about 11 i was at a family friends house an they had a daughter about the same age as me an we were really good friends an one time she wanted to put makeup on me an i dont know why but i let her do it. We laughed and thought it was just us being young an messing around but to me it was something else. It felt good to wear makeup. That memory always stuck with me for some reason. Thats the only time i remember wearing makeup. I also tried on womens underwear when i was younger too, a few times actually. Fuck it felt so hot! I knew it was wrong but it felt so right. I even tried holdups aswell, all of which i dug out of my stepmums dirty laundry bin. Fuck i was such a perverted little fucker lol. I put on her clean ones once or twice too an i didnt realise untill i took them off but they stretchd alot after wearing fresh ones. I hid them at the bottom of the pile of tights she had in her wardrobe an hoped she wouldnt notice someone had worn them. She never said anything to me anyway or to my dad who wouldve fucking killed me. They used to have loads of porn dvds i would put on after i got in from school. I was only about 14 lol. No wonder im so fucked up in the head. Anyway i really want to make a new profile, i will still upload stuff here but i think she needs her own place, whoever she is... Thanks for reading
I did it, I just bought my first ever dildo! I still cant believe I actually did it! Its nothing crazy, just a 6inch suction but I've never had anything close to the look and feel of it inside me before, I haven't got it yet but I'm so excited! Its pink and it even glows in the dark too lol. Ok quick confession, I did actually come across a dildo when I was about 11-12. It was a red vibrator but it didn't have any batteries. It was about 9 inches long and it had these big veins running down it an it was soft but firm an it looked huge in my hands. I'd never seen a sextoy before but somehow I knew what it was, I knew it was meant to be a cock anyway. I knew I shouldn't of been inspecting it like I was but I couldnt help myself, My heart was racing an my dick had gotten super hard an I started stroking myself, I was so excited by it. The size and the feel of it left me in awe and I knew then an there I had to inspect it further and without hesitation I started sucking on it an imagining it was a real cock, I couldn't help it, it was like a gay instinct had kicked in an taken over me. I knew what I was doing was totally gay I just didn't care. My heart was racing even faster an I wanted it even more. I knew what gay sex was an I was told it was wrong but that's what I wanted and just like that I took off all my clothes, got on the bed with the dildo an started pushing it against my hole. It was so big tho an I was so tight that there was noway I was getting it inside me so I just layed there on the bed sucking on it an stroking my cock an thinking about sucking a real dick. Anyway that's the only time I ever played with a dildo. I cant wait to get mine an start sucking it and fucking myself with it. Ive been waiting years for this an now its almost here! Im so excited I just had to get this out there an tell someone.
I dont know if anybody reads these blogs but i find writing things down to be quite therapeutic as it helps me get my thoughts in order an allows me to say what I truly feel. I've not wrote many blogs on here yet as theres not been anything I could think of to talk about untill now. Like i said before, I haven't always been gay as I've felt straight most of my life. I've only ever had straight relationships but even before them I did some pretty gay stuff on my own that I never told anyone about. I would feel so bad afterwards too, growing up I was told things like that were wrong and disgusting and people like that should be ashamed and other really awful things. I must've believed them too because everytime I did anything like that I would tell myself I was gross and that was wrong and I shouldn't of done that, and I would say I'm never doing that again. I did though, quite a few times. I never did anything remotly gay or had any gay thoughts when I was in a straight relationship though, I went on as if they never happened and I thought that mustv'e just been me experimenting an that part of my life was over, but it wasn't over. Fastforward to about 5 or 6 years of being single, unintrested in having a relationship and watching nothing but straight porn and being bored of it I would get feelings I thought I'd left behind me, feelings I would act on an as soon as it was over I felt it hit me again, I cant believe i just did that! wtf is wrong with me?, Im not gay I told myself. Yet I kept getting the Urges to do it again an everytime it would end the same with me being in denial an feeling like shit. I got to the point where I knew I was gay. But I couldnt accept it, I knew other people around me wouldn't accept so how was I suppose to? I couldn't, I didn't an it went on for at least another 5 years. I felt worthless, like life wasn't worth living anymore. How could I live my life if I couldn't even be myself? It would eat away at me everyday an I didn't know how to stop it. I came to the relisation I couldn't stop it and that this was just who I was. I had enough, I was sick of feeling ashamed and being in denial. I was sick of worrying about what other people would think of me an that they wouldnt accept me. Most of all i think I was I was sick of not being able to accept myself so I said fuck it! and since 2023 I've been embracing it. Now i want to get to know this other side of me I've been running from all these years and learn to accept myself for who I am. Maybe porn isn't the way to go about it but i have no other outlet, an i actually find it quite fun, plus I have nobody else I can talk to and what would I even say? Would be nice to have some gay friends though, just some people to talk to about whatever. Anyway that's enough from me, thanks for reading.
I wish i had someone to help me with my shaving and ipl hair removal routine, its hard work doing it all on your own an i want to be sure i get every hair off my ass. I need a friend with the same interests as me, someone who wants to have a nice hair free smooth ass, someone who wants some fun. Would be nice having somebody to make some content with too. I would love sharing a shower with another like me an feeling our wet soapy bodies rub against eachother, im hard just thinking about my soapy ass being squeezed as i squeeze theres. After we get done showering we could take it in turns doing our hair removal routine on eachother an then we could hit record and shake our asses together ;)
Im tired and i just wanna sleep but when i start to drift off i keep thinking about dick an i get so fucking horny that i end up with my boxer shorts pulled down to my knees with my dick hard leaking precum. Sometimes its so bad i actually fall asleep for a few minutes an then wake up an pull my boxers off completely an finger fuck myself while im thinking of a hard cock pounding me. I used to tell myself that it didnt make me gay because it wasnt actually a cock in me an i wouldnt do it again even though it kept happening an i said it everytime i did it. It didnt happen alot, maybe every few months i would get intrusive thoughts that led to me fingering myself. I tried not to be gay for years by not acting on my thoughts an feelings an for a while it worked. I never even used to watch gay porn. I felt so ashamed after the first time i watched it an got off to it even though it was the best orgasm i ever had at that time. Somehow i went on pretending like those times never happened an carried on watching straight porn. I dont know what happened but now i just accept it an love getting off to cock. I mean, its pretty gay to finger fuck yourself while your wishing it was a cock inside of you. Now im even worse, now i want to suck on a cock before i get fucked by one. I dont know when or how but one day im going to suck some dick an get myself a good fucking too
So you want to know more about me do you? Well read on
As i said on my profile I've never done anything like this before as I've felt straight most of my life. Having said that, I've had some not so straight thoughts an feelings over my life and even caught myself doing some pretty gay stuff all of which left me feeling quite ashamed afterwards.
Look it's not my fault sky tv had a gay adult channel that i just happened to notice when i was flicking through the other adult channels as a youth. I just wanted to see some boobs on one of the previews not hear about man on man action that was coming up later that night.
Still, there was something hot about it, perhaps i just thought it was hot at the time because i was horny or maybe it was just because i was told that things like that were wrong by the people around me an that made me want to see more of it. Whatever the reason, i don't remember watching it alot, probably just once or twice. It was never anything serious.
I grew out of it and went on to have many straight relationships that i loved and was happy. There was other questionable things i did growing up but i think I'll save them for another time. Well thats it for now but im going to write more overtime so stay tuned.
