It took me a long time to take a sexy photos of myself
I always hid what was feminine in me, because I grew up listening to so many bad things: "Boys don't listen to this type of music", "This color is not for men", "males have to be strong", "that's for girls ". At home my family said this kind of thing, at school my friends made jokes and even on TV with their humorous programs at the time. Everything that made me ashamed and afraid, preventing me from being. After someone told me that my waist was thin, from that day on I always wore looser shirts, nothing tight. I've always been thin but until that day I never noticed it. After someone asked one of my brothers why I was walk twerking in the street, after that day I started to always take care of my way of walking, to a masculine way. At a certain point in my adolescence, my left breast had slightly enlarged compared to the right. I never understood how it happened, but it happened, and it hurt when I touched it, and it stood out a little on the shirt. Because of this, I never have my chest out in public, nor have I ever taken my shirt off to sunbathe on the beach. Even my way of speaking I had to police, I always spoke kind of affectionately, a little sweetly, and sometimes I even referred to myself as feminine. And after so much mockery of me, I ended up becoming a rude person, even hurting other people. As soon as I realized that I had become one of those prejudiced people, I stopped, I didn't want to be that, luckily this version of me didn't last long, even though I still hid. For a long time, my feminine beauty was just for me and a mirror, in rare moments of privacy. When body hair started to appear, these moments became even rarer. And the idea of shaving my body hadn't come up yet, because "hair in legs is a male thing." The first time I saw a group of crossdressers on Facebook, at that time, I was instantly enchanted, I wanted to be like them. Some dressed so feminine in their bathrooms, just like me, but they were even more so, as they were wearing makeup and wigs and pantyhose... and without body hair. I really wanted to be able to take photos of myself too, and post them there. But, when I took a photo of myself, I started with my butt in panties, but when I saw that pile of hair in my ass I was deeply saddened. And since then I haven't done that for a long time. And I stayed like that until about three years ago when, in the middle of the pandemic, at home, living alone, I had the courage to shave my body and try to take some photos. I really liked it, I really loved it, I felt so feminine again, wearing women's clothes, tight, beautiful colors and soft fabric, tight jeans, shorts, nightgown and even a corselet. And I felt like posting, creating a profile for it, and Natalie was born on that day.
... Unfortunately I lost these first photos.
https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/gettyimages-502910536-1569616149.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.752xh%3B0,0.0938xh&resize=1200:*
Ok... Sometime in the summer of the year when I was about 12, I discovered something new. I was alone at home in the morning, and I took the opportunity once again to see myself feminine in the mirror. I picked up a sweater, very beautiful, blue with black and white, and a delicate fabric that feels good against the skin. I ran to the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror. I looked hot, with curves, and when I saw my legs I wanted to see what it would look like if I crossed them. I sat on the toilet and crossed my legs. No hair had yet grown on my legs, they were smooth, very feminine. I looked at my legs for a while, with the nightdress skirt over them, and I slid the fabric to feel it against my skin. It felt so good, my little penis was behind my thighs, and it was getting hard. I was getting very horny for the first time, horny in myself, perhaps in my feminine legs or in my penis that was growing between them, hard and hot. So delicious, the heat increasing, I was already sweating, my hands couldn't stop sliding over my own body. Then suddenly I ejaculated for the first time, and I wanted to do it again, I really enjoyed this experience. Since that day I have never masturbated like a boy with his hand in fap fap, that way was the only way I knew. Me and my legs crossed between my penis, or wearing women's clothes, panties, or entering my imagination. As at the time I still didn't have feelings for someone male, when I used my imagination in those moments I thought of a female crush, usually my math teacher, she was very beautiful. Nowadays I still do it like that, looking at photos of men and their huge cocks, watching sex videos, and with some toy in my ass. But, I also discovered another way to do this, which I'm using more. Without crossing my legs, I place the tips of two fingers at the base of my penis, almost at the groin, and massage it. It really works, I have headphones on listening to a man tell me some naughty things, I squeeze my small breast with one hand, while with the fingers of the other hand I massage this base without touching the penis, but I can feel it hard and hot. The level of horny and orgasm I reach like this is incredibly wonderful.
https://cdn.imagefap.com/images/full/114/154/1541690554.jpg?end=1696239212&secure=005863060605dd420cfb7
Even though I have always liked wearing my aunt's feminine shoes, wearing my cousin's short dresses and panties... And doing all this for the pleasure of seeing myself as a girl in the mirror, because maybe something inside me wanted to tell me that I was born in the wrong body. Despite all this, for a long time in my life I was never attracted to anyone male. My romantic attractions or passions have always been with someone female. Girlfriend, crush on the teacher or the pop singer of the moment, flirtations. But, my relationships never escalated to the sexual level. I remember something when my relationship with a girl at school ended, that I really liked her a lot. I told myself, in my head at bedtime, that if I didn't marry her by a certain age in my life I would have surgery to become a woman. At that time there wasn't as much talk about it as there is today, but I was already aware of this possibility and it had always interested me, despite liking girls and dating. During that time, I never saw a man as handsome, attractive to me, awakening an extra feeling in me, or anything like that. Maybe it was my unconscious mind not letting me focus on this for fear of having my secret discovered, and giving off an image of a straight guy. I also didn't hang out with my male friends much, I always had more female friends, and I always hung out with them more. Maybe that meant something, but even from them I hid my other side. Well, after a while I discovered something, something that would gradually change my interests and attractions. Porn videos. Yes, and I began to realize that what turned me on the most wasn't the naked women in the videos, it wasn't her moaning, it wasn't her breasts bouncing. He was the one who did that to her, he was the one who penetrated her, he was the one who touched her breasts, he was the one who called her a slut and pulled her hair. The level of excitement I started to feel I never felt for any woman, not for a girlfriend, not for the Playboy girls. And the more I watched, the more I wanted to be the passive one in those videos, the one who is called a slut, the one who has her breasts groped, the one who feels so much pleasure to the point of moaning so loudly. It was those men who did that to her, with their muscles, with their sweaty chest, with all that movement, with their fiery speeches and with those wonderful penises. Things I've never seen in my male friends. So my sexuality changed, although it remained a secret for a while longer...
I'll write more about this soon
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a0/69/c5/a069c5a85c9ae3a743b6788aead01a57.jpg
The mirror was the first to see my feminine beauty
The first panties I wore were very light blue lace. I don't remember who it was, but I found drying in the bathroom window, and was a little wet. It was night and I slept wearing it. I must have been less than 10 years old, I don't know for sure, but I already knew that I would be in a lot of trouble if anyone found out what I was wearing under my shorts. As soon as I woke up I ran to put it back where I found it. In addition to loving the feeling of wearing panties, I also really liked the adrenaline rush, but I rarely wore them again for a while. When my teenage cousin started living with us, I must have been 12 years old, and her underwear drawer also arrived with her. I took advantage of every moment I was alone at home to wear some of my cousin's panties, the pink ones were my favorite, and I also had swimsuits and short dresses. However, my passion was panties, because I could wear them under my clothes and sleep. I was almost discovered several times trying on dresses and swimsuits in the bathroom, triggering my adrenaline to put everything away before anyone saw. But instead of stopping out of fear, I never missed a chance to see myself femenine in the mirror. Even if it cost me being kicked out of the house
https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/8f/71/65/8f7165efcd5959db2fec49d61b2102ad.jpg
When I was a little boy I never wanted to be one of the male heroes in my favorite anime or comics. I always wanted to be the pink Power Ranger, Launch from Dragon Ball, Jean Grey (I love her clothes), Totally Spies, Ranko. In video games where it was possible to choose a character, I always chose Kitana from Mortal Kombat, Taria from Mace, a female Sim from The Sims (I loved dressing up the character, imagining it was me). With the films I saw, I always dreamed of being a Disney princess, or Miss Congeniality and Charlie's Angels (my name "Natalie" comes from Cameron Diaz's character). I always thought that name was wonderful.
https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/1d/77/4b/1d774b1d640ac1d8fb7f39c593026114.jpg
I love women's shoes, especially high heels. They were the first feminine things that I fell in love with and wore. At a time when I was still a lttle child, I remember hiding under my aunt's bed to put on her shoes. They were big on my feet. but over time I grew up and they fit me perfectly. I love the shape of high heels, the way the boots feel in my legs, with or without pantyhose, and how they make my body look sexier. Unfortunately, my feet grew more than I wanted, and since they stopped fitting me, I rarely wear them. And every day I expect to wake up and see that my feet have shrunk in size so I can go back to wearing little women's shoes.
[img]http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/5f1gv7-l-610x610-shoes-pink-high+heels-platform+heels-high+heel+pumps.jpg[/img]
