I'm in the hot tub at a resort in San Diego yesterday, sitting across from two adorable blonde nymphettes.
Nymphette 1: "Ooh, turn around...the jets feel even better on your front."
Nymphette 2: "What, like on your belly button?"
Nymphette 1: "Uhhhh...yeah."
I had to turn around to stifle my laughter. This little blonde angel had discoverd clitoral stimulation probably for the first time in her life. Her friend (or sister?) wasn't quite there yet. But she'll learn.
When I was growing up, there was a girl in my neighborhood named Anne. She was the first girl I kissed, the first girl I felt up. That didn't make me special — she was the first for a lot of guys, too.
Anne was blonde and beautiful, and developed early in a lot of ways. She was a pageant girl who started wearing makeup before all the other girls in her class, and grew tits before most of them. She started having sex at 12, and by the time she was 13 or 14, she had a sexual rap-sheet that was longer than most grown women. She would tell me about some of her experiences, to brag, to get my attention...maybe just to tell somebody. I won't incriminate anybody by sharing those stories here, but suffice it to say, plenty of men could have gone to jail over this girl.
One day, she invited me to hang out with her and a couple of friends at her house. It was the summer, and her parents were away for the afternoon. I rode my bike over, and when I got there, Anne was with two people: 1) Charmaine, a mean and unattractive friend of hers who had once dug her nails into my forearm during an altercation on the school bus. And 2) A guy I'd never seen before, who was at least 18, maybe older. Anne was probably 14 at this point.
The guy was very friendly to me and seemed somewhat normal, but it was pretty obvious that he was there to fuck Anne. I soon found out that Anne's plan was to fuck this guy in front of me and Charmaine. She was raising the stakes on her sexual misadventures. It wasn't enough to fuck adults and tell friends about it later. She needed witnesses.
We made our way to Anne's bedroom, and it began. I watched her give the older guy a blowjob on her bed...well, mostly I watched her from behind as she did it. They moved to the floor and I watched her get on top of his dick and ride it like an experienced cowgirl until he came into his condom. I sat across the room with an uncomfortable erection, as Charmaine looked down at the floor, clearly embarrassed. (I was almost horny enough to make a move on Charmaine, but again, I couldn't stand this girl on any level.)
For many people, your first sexual experiences set the tone for what you're into your whole life. Well, my first sexual experience was watching it happen — seeing an underage teen suck and fuck and older guy. It was a performance that has stuck with me to this day.
Porn chicks/models that remind me of exes #3: Melina/Kacie Marie
Everybody has their "one that got away," and for me that's Melina.
Melina
was a dark-haired Irish girl with fantastic D-cup tits and creamy white
skin. We met on MySpace, back when MySpace was a thing. She thought I
was cute, and she reached out. Our first date was a bit of a drunken
train-wreck, and it ended with Melina inviting me back to her place. I
refused. I REFUSED! Nearly all of my experiences fucking near-strangers
had been awful, and I didn't want to have another bad one-night-stand. (Maybe I'll write a blog post soon about my worst ones.)
It
was a gamble, but it worked out. Melina and I went on more dates
(sober, this time), and soon enough we were officially in a
relationship. The sex was absolutely phenomenal. I've been lucky to have
porn-caliber sex with two women in my life: The first was Amy (see
previous blog entry), the second was Melina. What set Melina apart was
that she was a performer. She moaned and screamed so loud that my
roommates could hear her — I think that was her intention — and she liked
fucking in front of a mirror, and having me film her. She could also
deep-throat my cock like a professional whore, and she stared into my
eyes while she was doing it. I'd never met anybody like that. And of
course, I took her for granted.
(Side-note: One day, Melina asked me how I felt about porn. I stuttered out something about how I watch it from time to time, but like, I'm trying to watch it less or whatever.
We never discussed porn again. I should have been totally honest and
told her that I fucking love porn and watch it every day. Looking back, I
think she was trying to come out to me as a porn-lover, and I blew it.)
After nearly a year of dating, I broke up with Melina for the dumbest possible reasons. Those reasons were:
-
She had an anxiety disorder. Or as I saw it, she was broken and
imperfect. Ugh. I want to kick my own ass for judging her like that
instead of trying to empathize with her. But at the time, I couldn't handle her jealous episodes and self-loathing, and her periods of near-depression.
-
She was perpetually broke, and not very generous with the money she
had. In other words, I paid for nearly all of our dates and I had to lend
her money once. This bothered me because I was pretty broke myself at
the time, and my previous girlfriend Sarah was always generous with her
cash. I should have realized that the incredible sex Melina was giving
me was priceless, and gotten over it.
- My
friends didn't like Melina because she was socially awkward. Melina and
my friend Dave actually got into a physical altercation the first time
they met. Long, embarrassing story; maybe I'll tell it one day. Anyway,
it's pretty immature to pick a partner based on what your friends think.
I don't even keep in touch with those old friends anymore. Their
opinions were meaningless, in the grand scheme of things.
The
bottom line is, I thought I could do better. I thought I could find
someone who was "perfect." So, I broke up with Melina a couple weeks
before Christmas 2005 (I fucking suck), and refused to talk to her
afterwards. About a month or so later, I met Rachel, the woman who I
would eventually marry. Rachel isn't perfect either, but guess what?
Nobody's perfect. We're all fucked up. Accepting someone despite their
flaws is the basis of love. I only wish I learned that lesson earlier.
Because if I had, maybe I'd still be with Melina now — having wild sex,
not having to keep my porn-love a secret. Instead, I'm married to a
woman who won't have sex with me, and frankly, doesn't even seem to like
me. My life sucks, and I deserve it.
The whole point of this post was to bring up a porn chick/model who Melina reminds me of. That model is Ms. Kacie Marie , a Brooklyn-based pinup model who I discovered on MeInMyPlace.com .
My heart aches when I look at Kacie. Her dark hair, curvy body,
milky-white skin, hipster/pinup vibe...that's Melina, folks. That's what
she looked like. That could have been my wife. And I fucked it up. Fuck
me.
Porn chicks/models that remind me of exes #2: Amy/Anastasia
After Joanne and I broke up, I figured I'd be fucking some other girl before long...but it didn't work out that way. I wouldn't have sex again for over two years, and I wouldn't have another steady girlfriend until my sophomore year in college. Her name was Amy, and she was a slim 19-year-old with short blonde hair, blue eyes, small breasts, and a sexy, fit body. She was athletic — a runner, to be specific — and a bohemian/hippie-type who liked to write poetry. I wanted her as soon as I met her, and eventually we became close through mutual friends. She was the first girl I truly fell in love with.
Amy was a virgin when we started dating, and we had sex for the first time on New Year's Eve 1999/2000. Despite her inexperience, she was adventurous and up for anything. I couldn't believe my luck...I had found an actual virgin/whore! Even though this was like 15 years ago, I can remember more specific sexual encounters with Amy than I can with any other girl I've been with. Such as...
- The first time I came in her mouth, which happened in her bedroom. She didn't know if she should spit or swallow, so she kind of just let the cum drool out of her mouth afterwards. She felt embarrassed about it, and of course I told her not to worry about it. "You can swallow it next time," I said. And she did. Many times.
- We had sex on train tracks, high above the water on a covered bridge. I was nervous that a train would come around and squash us, but she assured me that if a train came along, we'd be able to see it a long way off and get off the tracks in time.
- I put a belt around her neck while fucking her from behind, several times. She was into it.
- I stuck my finger up her ass while she was on top of me, many times. She was into it.
- We fucked in a rainstorm, hanging halfway out the backseat of her car while Neil Young's "Cortez the Killer" played from her radio. Still love that song.
- She rode my cock outdoors in a nature preserve, late at night.
- She sucked me off while we were driving on I-94, and I had the most intense orgasm of my life.
- I fucked her in her parents' basement, on their pool table and on the floor. Her dog came around and tried to lick my ass while I was fucking her, and it freaked me out. I don't think Amy noticed.
- I fucked her in the ass once. Without lube. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Yeah, that wasn't a personal highlight, but I'll never forget it.
- She asked me to hit her once, during sex in a cheap hotel room, and I slapped her across the face. I'm still not exactly sure if that's what she had in mind.
I could go on and on like this. Amy wanted new experiences and she was a little dangerous. I was just along for the ride, and I loved it.
Around that time, BlacksOnBlondes was gaining popularity, and the site introduced me to Anastasia Blue — a petite blonde who looked meek but was sexually fearless. She immediately reminded me of Amy, and I started fantasizing about Amy being gangbanged by Mr. Marcus, Lexington Steele, and Jake Steed. I thought about how I could pimp Amy's tight pussy out to nasty black men. I *still* think about that once in a while.
Amy and I broke up in late 2000, I think. Our lives were heading in different directions, in a literal sense. (She was a country mouse, I was a city mouse.) Like Neil sang, "Now she's pushin' two kids, loookin' for that magic kiss..." Anastasia Blue died in 2008. Much love to Amy and Anastasia, wherever you are.
Porn chicks/models that remind me of exes #1: Joanne/Liliane
My first girlfriend was a 15-year-old Korean girl named Joanne. She had a sweet, innocent face — with just a touch of mischief — and perfect C-cup breasts. We lost our viriginities to each other one rainy night in April 1996, and spent the following summer having as much sex as possible at her parents house while they were at work. She was the first girl who swallowed my cum, the first girl I put in handcuffs. Eventually, I drove her away by being immature and mean. If someone told me I'd never get to fuck another Asian teenager ever again, maybe I would have appreciated her more.
Years later, I saw Liliane (aka Hon) on one of the TryTeens sites, and did a double-take. She was a near-identical match for Joanne, in both her face and body. So whenever I get nostalgic for my first love, I just find a Liliane scene and remember those days of being a horny teenager with a sexy Asian plaything waiting for me in the next town over. I miss you, Joanne.
