I haven't thought about this in a long time.

When I was growing up, there was a girl in my neighborhood named Anne. She was the first girl I kissed, the first girl I felt up. That didn't make me special — she was the first for a lot of guys, too.

Anne was blonde and beautiful, and developed early in a lot of ways. She was a pageant girl who started wearing makeup before all the other girls in her class, and grew tits before most of them. She started having sex at 12, and by the time she was 13 or 14, she had a sexual rap-sheet that was longer than most grown women. She would tell me about some of her experiences, to brag, to get my attention...maybe just to tell somebody. I won't incriminate anybody by sharing those stories here, but suffice it to say, plenty of men could have gone to jail over this girl.

One day, she invited me to hang out with her and a couple of friends at her house. It was the summer, and her parents were away for the afternoon. I rode my bike over, and when I got there, Anne was with two people: 1) Charmaine, a mean and unattractive friend of hers who had once dug her nails into my forearm during an altercation on the school bus. And 2) A guy I'd never seen before, who was at least 18, maybe older. Anne was probably 14 at this point.

The guy was very friendly to me and seemed somewhat normal, but it was pretty obvious that he was there to fuck Anne. I soon found out that Anne's plan was to fuck this guy in front of me and Charmaine. She was raising the stakes on her sexual misadventures. It wasn't enough to fuck adults and tell friends about it later. She needed witnesses.

We made our way to Anne's bedroom, and it began. I watched her give the older guy a blowjob on her bed...well, mostly I watched her from behind as she did it. They moved to the floor and I watched her get on top of his dick and ride it like an experienced cowgirl until he came into his condom. I sat across the room with an uncomfortable erection, as Charmaine looked down at the floor, clearly embarrassed. (I was almost horny enough to make a move on Charmaine, but again, I couldn't stand this girl on any level.)

For many people, your first sexual experiences set the tone for what you're into your whole life. Well, my first sexual experience was watching it happen — seeing an underage teen suck and fuck and older guy. It was a performance that has stuck with me to this day.

So maybe that's why I like to watch.

Maybe that's why blowjobs from behind and dick-riding get me rock hard.

Maybe that's why I still get a rush from looking at young girls.

What about you?