Everybody has their "one that got away," and for me that's Melina.

Melina was a dark-haired Irish girl with fantastic D-cup tits and creamy white skin. We met on MySpace, back when MySpace was a thing. She thought I was cute, and she reached out. Our first date was a bit of a drunken train-wreck, and it ended with Melina inviting me back to her place. I refused. I REFUSED! Nearly all of my experiences fucking near-strangers had been awful, and I didn't want to have another bad one-night-stand. (Maybe I'll write a blog post soon about my worst ones.)

It was a gamble, but it worked out. Melina and I went on more dates (sober, this time), and soon enough we were officially in a relationship. The sex was absolutely phenomenal. I've been lucky to have porn-caliber sex with two women in my life: The first was Amy (see previous blog entry), the second was Melina. What set Melina apart was that she was a performer. She moaned and screamed so loud that my roommates could hear her — I think that was her intention — and she liked fucking in front of a mirror, and having me film her. She could also deep-throat my cock like a professional whore, and she stared into my eyes while she was doing it. I'd never met anybody like that. And of course, I took her for granted.

(Side-note: One day, Melina asked me how I felt about porn. I stuttered out something about how I watch it from time to time, but like, I'm trying to watch it less or whatever. We never discussed porn again. I should have been totally honest and told her that I fucking love porn and watch it every day. Looking back, I think she was trying to come out to me as a porn-lover, and I blew it.)

After nearly a year of dating, I broke up with Melina for the dumbest possible reasons. Those reasons were:

- She had an anxiety disorder. Or as I saw it, she was broken and imperfect. Ugh. I want to kick my own ass for judging her like that instead of trying to empathize with her. But at the time, I couldn't handle her jealous episodes and self-loathing, and her periods of near-depression.

- She was perpetually broke, and not very generous with the money she had. In other words, I paid for nearly all of our dates and I had to lend her money once. This bothered me because I was pretty broke myself at the time, and my previous girlfriend Sarah was always generous with her cash. I should have realized that the incredible sex Melina was giving me was priceless, and gotten over it.

- My friends didn't like Melina because she was socially awkward. Melina and my friend Dave actually got into a physical altercation the first time they met. Long, embarrassing story; maybe I'll tell it one day. Anyway, it's pretty immature to pick a partner based on what your friends think. I don't even keep in touch with those old friends anymore. Their opinions were meaningless, in the grand scheme of things.

The bottom line is, I thought I could do better. I thought I could find someone who was "perfect." So, I broke up with Melina a couple weeks before Christmas 2005 (I fucking suck), and refused to talk to her afterwards. About a month or so later, I met Rachel, the woman who I would eventually marry. Rachel isn't perfect either, but guess what? Nobody's perfect. We're all fucked up. Accepting someone despite their flaws is the basis of love. I only wish I learned that lesson earlier. Because if I had, maybe I'd still be with Melina now — having wild sex, not having to keep my porn-love a secret. Instead, I'm married to a woman who won't have sex with me, and frankly, doesn't even seem to like me. My life sucks, and I deserve it.

The whole point of this post was to bring up a porn chick/model who Melina reminds me of. That model is Ms. Kacie Marie , a Brooklyn-based pinup model who I discovered on MeInMyPlace.com . My heart aches when I look at Kacie. Her dark hair, curvy body, milky-white skin, hipster/pinup vibe...that's Melina, folks. That's what she looked like. That could have been my wife. And I fucked it up. Fuck me.

 

UPDATE: I've included a photo of Melina's ass at the end of this gallery... http://www.imagefap.com/pictures/5309271/Sleeping-Asses
...and her ass is pic #20 here: http://www.imagefap.com/pictures/5519298/Assterpiece-Theater-3-Stockings-and-Pantyhose