"when there is the smallest of holes to let some air in, you can't help yourself but to breath fast, the condensation quickly forming inside the bag (true)"
"as a woman gets older, her priorities change. A new boyfriend was showing me sexy outfits on the net and pointed out this harness, saying I'd look good in that, so I had to buy it myself just for him (true)"
"Little does she realise how her tights will have a larger hold in them right by her soon to be exposed and used love tunnel as she'll be involuntarily filled with potent baby batter and maybe have a bun put in her oven as well?!"