Anybody ever get spanked because their ass isn't that red anymore? Me neither. I just wanted to see if you did.

My wife, her boyfriend, and all his buddies kept flipping up the back of my skirt when I walked by serving them drinks and snacks. I told them to stop. And they did stop. Because they made me take the dress off and now I have to serve them in my little tiny panties. Now they won't stop smacking my red ass.

Alpha told me he was going to throw me on the ground and make out with my wife while he put his foot on my back so I can't get up. That seems a bit harsh.

I've always considered myself a fairly macho kind of guy.

I got called a leprechaun a lot yesterday. It's because I'm always the shortest guy in the room.

I can't believe it's been so long since someone called me pathetic. My luck must be changing.

I love tall, strong, dominant, mean, sexy women. They are my Kryptonite.

My wife loves grabbing my ear and pulling me where she wants me to go even in front of people like her friends, family, and many boyfriends. It hurts my ear but everybody's laughter hurts even more.