"My wife had divorced me once she came to visit me in prison and she learnt about what I was doing here, I was married to a man, she had no idea what South African prisons are like, what happens to men like me ,,white men who fight back, who refuse to become a wife,I had seen them killed, the gang members killed ruthlessly, execution style, it was awful, to them it was about power, if a white man said no and stood up to them, it reflected badly, he had to be killed, and if the man agreed to submit, be a wife, this also showed of his power, his control, his standing within the prison,,and the stronger the man, the more powerful, the safer I was, I was the wife of the most violent ,,the most feared gang member,, I had shaved, I wore the underwear he liked and I used the red on my lips, like red lipstick, and ever time the lights went dim, I went to him, I aroused his cock for sex, I sucked him so good, I fucked him so good, I wanted to be the best wife, the sexiest wife for him, my life depended on it,,"