"Emma Watson has offered to raise money for her favourite charity by auctioning off one of her turds. The auction house is packed with the most disgusting old perverts. She has diligently prepared, eating large meals of wholesome high-fibre food, and promises to produce a large and solid stool. The bidding starts briskly, and rises to eighty thousand dollars, but Emma thinks it could go higher with encouragement.
‘I am ready to open my bowels now, but only when the price reaches six figures.’ It soon get over the hundred grand mark, and she squats on the stage with her skirt removed. Emma can only ever be elegant and beautiful, even when she is pushing out an enormous log of shit.
The brown nose of her turd pushes out of her anus and there is a roar of applause. The price goes up to two hundred thousand. The glorious fecal lump emerges and slowly lands on the floor. She sprinkles it with some piss, and steps away to proudly display her glistening pile of crap.
‘Do I hear one million dollars?’ Asks the auctioneer.
‘You can lick my bumhole clean, if you go to a million.’ Emma adds.
‘Sold to the wanking old pervert at the front with his tongue hanging out.’"