"That one friend of your daughters that always seems to be the one that lingers, ends up in the passenger seat, the odd one out left in the boat with only the two of you, the one that jumps on your back in the pool to play chicken, the one that stays late to help clean up after the party, the one that calls you by your first name and not Mr."
"When you wonder why your wife is so nervous today and then realize she is about to give you your birthday present. THE birthday present, the one you described when she asked about your hottest fantasy. Hold onto your ball sack and get ready to party..."