"At first I hated taking piano lessons. But the teacher started dressing like this. Today I couldn't help but notice she wasn't wearing a bra or panties. What would you do if you were me?"
"HER- Seriously? ME- Oh c'mon, it's just fuzzy piglet ears and a curly pink piggy tail ass plug. My buddys will think it's hilarious. Look, I also got you a pink leather collar that says Little Oinker."
"She could hump the base of my cock while sucking the head. I am now realizing I did not spend enough of my life looking for a hot midget to bring home as my wifes birthday present. Just like lingerie, it would be one of those "for her, but really for me" gifts."