"My wife's idea to hire a stretching coach to help prepare her for delivery has backfired. I mean it is working, but on the rare occasion she is interested in sex with me, I try to insert my little pecker and it doesn't even touch the sides. I'm paying this "Coach" $300 per week to stretch my wife out so much she can't feel me fuck her."
"It would have been great for the first night we were married, if my wife could have been pumped full of cum from a bbc or two. Making cream pies for her new hubby?"