I discovered something about myself yesterday that I never knew existed. I arranged a date with an old friend who's in the country for a few days. I dressed up to the nines just as I know he likes to see me. Bit more difficult these days sice I have put weight on since my operation. It didn't seem to matter what I did, I couldn't get much of an erection from him and I started to feel bad about myself as I felt like I had dissapointed him. Out of the blue, he asked if I had any punishment tools. We have a few things knocking about and at his request, I started to beat his bottom with a paddle. I've never done this and it felt quite alien, especially as I am deeply submissive. Of course Ive been spanked many times over the years and paddled. After ten minutes his bottom was nicely red and low and behold he had a nice erection that I took full advantage of. But my point is that I realised I was enjoying myself punishing him, which is not in my nature. I think I'd like to do it again and see if it was a one off thing. I'm seeing him again before he flies home to Spain, so I will pop the question.