Sometimes I wish I could just have an ordinary weekend like most people. As usual I was cleaning Mothers house for her yesterday and Lois called me, somewhat frantic as she had woken up in s strange bed next to a complete stranger and being pissed the night before had no idea how she got there. I asked her what she wanted me to do about it? She said collect me of course. I reminded her that it hadn't happened by itself and she should at least wake her lover up and say good morning. She got angry with me and hung up. A couple of hours later she called again, to say she had taken advantage of his morning wood and they'd swapped numbers, so now I could could collect her. I don't think I'll ever understand Lois

Today is my Daddy's birthday.
Tomorrow is my Nation's birthday.
Maybe it should be your birthday on the 5th, my wonderful fappers.
Have you been wonderfully naughty? Would you... maybe want some presents?