"Father, I've already given you everything I have. My bank accounts are empty. I gave you my car, I left my husband, I even sold all my clothes. I have no house. I have nothing left to offer the church.
Priest: You filthy sinner, you have earrings, a bracelet, and a gold necklace. Give those away. You still have your dignity and your free will. Don't you want to go to paradise, to earn a place in the most wonderful place? You are filthy. But you will be saved if you sign this contract of will where you will become my son's pet, a cute little dog for the house of this great man of faith."
"Wait, no, I can't keep doing this... ma'am, your son is a complete loser, a pervert. You're the mother of a sinner, it's normal that the son's sins are paid for by the mother. Now shut up and start asking for hot dicks so that the faithful followers of the church have a good day. That will help cleanse the sins of your loser son."
"Mom: Wait, priest, I can't do this. My whole family is coming to church, all my friends will be there. I don't think it's a good idea to do this.
Priest: We need to revive interest among the male public, especially the young men. Today you will be Eve, the first woman, and for a small fee, everyone can give you a hug. If they pay more, they can spank you for daring to take that apple. Many bring important people. We don't have money, so a woman with nice breasts is easier. Look, they're already arriving. Greetings."