Set a target for the amount of porn you will consume every day. This will obviously vary greatly on your work and social habits, but you should start with at least half an hour every day, preferably first thing in the morning.

Slowly increase your consumption of erotic media over time. The more time you have for it, the better. From lighter porn, feel the pull towards more explicit, more extreme porn. Feel it. Want it. Surrender to it. Nothing should be off-limits, nothing taboo. The constraints of society, of church, of state, no longer hold any influence whatsoever over you. Give in to any and every subject that arouses. It need only make you wet, make you shudder with sexual excitement. Your own filthy imagination will suffice, if erotic material is not readily available to you.

As possible, with effort, punctuate your days, every day, with porn. Begin your days with porn. With minutes to spare throughout your day, devote them to porn. End your days with porn. Begin your nights, too, with porn, spawning dreams of porn.

Yes, I have sucked many cocks today; and, yes, I have been fucked. Many 'regulars' come to me for their daily blowjobs and fucks. Because I really enjoy public sex, I also go to gay clubs, porn arcades, and truck stops, nearly every day. I love anonymous gloryhole cock! There is a public park here, too, where men park their cars, and wait for other men come to them, to suck their cocks – mostly – but also to fuck. I, too, park there, but, quite boldly, unlike most of the men, who are married, I dress as the fem-fag I am, and walk from car to car, offering my services. Few refuse. I have many 'regulars' there, too, who text me when there are free.

There are undoubtedly other faggots out there who will fully understand the thrill of sucking cock and getting fucked openly, in the shade of a tree, but not in its concealment, in a public park, next to the soccer field, no game in progress, but not without those several early morning devotees, practicing their kicks into the net.

Sunday mornings, before church with their families, men park, with their doors open, awaiting faggots like me, unafraid to perform their calling, their service, in broad daylight, in public, for all to see. Here, where I currently reside, even between 8:00 and 9:00, it is already hot, between 100 and 110 degrees. Most men just want their cocks sucked; some want a blowjob prior to a fuck; some just want to fuck.

Dutifully, gratefully, after the briefest of cordialities, their soft cocks exposed, in invitation, I drop to my knees, to suck the cocks of men I have never seen before, and will likely never see again. I have been doing this all my life. It is so much more than just sex. It is a way of life, a devotion, a religion, a communion, and a communication. Sucking cock is the best way I can demonstrate absolute adoration for a man, even a complete stranger. I like to spend a long time with a cock, balls, and butthole. I want to get to know them intimately, every shape and dimension, every taste, every smell. When I get my reward of a mouthful of cum, I want to know deep down that that gift has been earned. Yes, I always get the reward, however long it takes. Of course, I am grateful for those who cum quickly, too, but it is so nice to surrender my whole being to the intensive, undistracted, loving worship of a cock that requires extra persuasion, as it has just fucked another man or woman.

Remember, I am on my knees in a parking lot, leaning in through the open door to reach the cock of the man seated in the driver's seat of his vehicle. If he is fucking me, I am leaning against the side, over the hood, or over the trunk of his car, all in the same parking lot. Other cars drive by occasionally, of course. It is public, after all.

Adding to the exhilaration, is the simple coincidence – or nearly so – of the temperature of the air, the temperature of the cocks, the temperature of the cum, the temperature of the pee – if I am so fortunate – as if the entire universe were joining me in these blissful acts of mutual fulfilment – the men, in their ejaculations, their eliminations, and me, in my service as their faggot.

Evenings are also busy at the park, but I do not prefer the cloak of darkness, hiding in shadows. I want to be seen being the faggot I am, the faggot I have always been.

Last Sunday, just yesterday, I sucked the cocks of six strangers; four of them fucked me, too. When I left the park on my Vespa, the smell of cock in my moustache and chin beard, the taste of cock and cum on my lips and tongue, my tummy filled with the semen, the sperm of strange men, I felt transcendentally euphoric. Much of the joy I feel comes from having openly, publicly, unapologetically performed sexual services for the pleasure of men; services for which I was destined to perform, born to perform, bred and raised to perform.

We choose our teachers; they do not choose us. I chose my my father, especially, my mother, too, to guide me towards a destiny I was born to fulfil. As their only daughterson, an undeniable sissy, all I wanted was to be a faggot, then a slut, then a whore. I have never regretted that decision. Clearly, it has lead me where I wanted to be, where I had no choice but to be.

As my parent's only daughterson, with three normal boy brothers, I always wanted sisters, girls with whom I could be a girl, the girl I wanted to be. My consolation in never being, fully, the girl I wanted to be, was that my parents both took complete advantage of my naturally submissive nature as a born sissy faggot.

My father, a closeted homosexual, nurtured my innate sissyqueer behaviours, desires, needs, wants. From my mother's breasts, nursing her milk, as a baby, I went directly to my father's cock, sucking it, for its much more luscious cream, his cum. After years of preparation, years of begging for it, he fucked me, full insertion, his balls slapping against the cheeks of my sissy butt, on my seventh birthday.

My mother knew about my father and me. She encouraged it. Even before my father fucked me for real, not just the head of his big cock, while my brothers were out doing boy things, she would suck and fuck other men in front of me, inviting me to clean her up, to clean up her men, after sex. After my seventh birthday, she persuaded her men to fuck me, too. Needless to convey, I was delighted.

Yes, I am still, loudly, proudly – gay, homosexual, faggot, queer, sissy…

For those who have hesitated or faltered, if I may, I offer the following –

Do you feel forced into a corner, teetering upon a sepiment of indecision, ambivalence? Or is it, rather, your lethargy, your cowardice that keeps you there, cowering before an imaginary adversary, chimera of your own delusion. Unfurl yourself. Gird yourself. Hone your weapons – be they heart, mind, words, or fists. Brandish all that you have to raise, to swing, to wield. Get out of the closet, out of the corner, off of the fence. The most courageous act is to think for yourself – aloud – to disembroil yourself from the ravelled, choking maze of caution. There is strength only in being as you appear, in appearing as you are, in surrendering to the destiny that has been yours from the beginning. Shame is but the lie others tell you about yourself.

One of the men I suck and fuck frequently is recently married. I started seeing him two years into their relationship. That is when he pretty much stopped fucking his then girlfriend, now wife. From the first time I saw him, I sucked his cock, and he fucked me. There are usually other guys there before him, and/or waiting their turn after him. He is a macho looking bear, not the slightest bit what one might presume to be gay, but he cannot get enough of me. Several times a week, I suck him, and he fucks me.

His dick is average, uncut. I told him early on that he did not have to clean up to come over. I prefer the smell and taste of pee of his foreskin. I love the smell and the taste of sweat on his balls, the smell and the taste of shit as I lick and tongue his yummy butthole. He told me that his girlfriend, now wife, likes him to be squeaky clean down there. If he showered an hour before coming to bed, he has to shower again, if they have any kind of sex at all. That is another reason they no longer have sex, and have not had it but once in the last year. I take care of him. I go from another man’s dick to his, another’s man’s cum to his. He watches me sucking other men. He watches them fucking me – their cocks, then his, their cum, then his – always bareback.

I know his wife, too. She is sweet. She confided in me that her man had no interest in fucking her anymore. She said that he declined even to have her suck him. He was not aroused. He could not get hard. I mentioned the cleanliness thing to her. She said she had no choice. He was so hairy, so manly; she could not bear to be intimate with him ’til he got shined up for her. Of course, the problem is bigger than that. Her husband has me, a cockslut, cumwhore sissy faggot taking cock and cum from strange and anonymous men all day every day, bareback, no questions asked, both neg and poz accepted, the dirtier, the nastier, the more filthy, the better, cum, pee, spit, shit – before and after entertaining him.

Sex is not clean. It should not be clean. It cannot be clean. This man – who cannot get hard for his wife – comes to me every time with loads of cum in his balls, ready to seed me, feed me, breed me. He likes being just another in the line awaiting his turn with the sissyslut fagwhore. I am responsible, I know, for the demise of sexual relations within many heterosexual marriages. Do I have pangs of regret at this necessary natural consequence of my wantonness? Not at all. As I have professed many times, I believe that men should only suck and fuck men, women only suck and fuck women. Only the men with the biggest dicks and the most sperm – black men, predominantly – should be permitted to breed women.