"Hate to say it sweetie, but your ex-girlfriend is right. You do have a tiny penis, if it can be called that. Maybe I can teach you to use your face, tongue and mouth to at least try to compensate. But of course you will always still be a beta-boy."
"Granny, can I borrow this, yes of course you can David, what do you want to do with it, I want to shove it up my bottom. Oh my you are growing up aren't you, would you mind if granny watched."
"Now you see Elizabeth, this how you do it. You have him lay on pillow so his sweet cheeks are at the correct angle and his little weenie is pointed down at his pillow. You see sometimes he gets really excited and dribbles his little boy seed and then he'll have to sleep with his face in it. Now you should be careful and not wallop his little peanut sack, unless he does something really egregious. --- But Mamma, you don't think sniffing my panties is egregious? --- Oh honey, almost all boys do that while they play with themselves. I've caught your father many times sniffing mine and playing with his tiny weenie. I made him continue on while I tell him how tiny he is. That really gets him excited. -- Daddy's tiny? ---Oh yes, he's really no bigger than Bobby here. ---But momma how can you be, oh never mind. ---How can I be satisfied? Is that what you want to know? ---Well, your "Uncle" Carl comes over sometimes to visit. ---Uncle Carl! Momma, is he really our uncle? ---Well no,he's just a friend of the family. A really good friend!"
"Well Mrs. Wilson, your son Brian was caught in the girls locker room sniffing panties from one the lockers and playing with his "penis," if you want to call it that. AGAIN! I'm sorry Mrs. Jenkins. He's forever going through the dirty laundry at home sniffing my panties. I just don't know what to do."
"Ha! The jokes on them. They don't realize that I love this humiliation. I know I have such a tiny weenie that I could never be a real man. I hope they put me in some pink panties and bralette. Now that would be sooo "humiliating" I might dribble."