"I don't really want to argue, but as I glance between the pic you sent and my tiny little pecker I'm wanking, it definitely isn't 5 inches. It looks more like you have 6.5 inches on me..."
"He picks her up from your place and you watch from the window as she gives him a big kiss when you know she hasn't brushed her teeth or washed her face yet. He knows what she's doing..."