"Well if I tell them that I was drunk enough to offer to do anything you wanted and your immediate thought was to beg me to pound your boi pussy with a strap on while I jerked you off into your own mouth, I'm not sure thats going to change their opinion of you being queer much."
"Howards little pinky dick just wasn't doing it for Bernadette, so he bought her these two dildos and a much larger black one. The massive black one was just too big for her but she didn't want it to go to waste so she bought a strap-on harness to use it on Howards ass. They were both new to anal (or at least Howard said he was) so Bernadette asked Penny to coach them since she was so experienced. It took 30 minutes for Penny to stop laughing at Howards little pecker, but they were finally able to go balls deep on him..."
"Thanks for helping me prep for my Blacks on Blondes audition, Leonard. You've really helped me with the lines, but you'll need to go get our large black dildo to practice the rest. I can deep throat your 3" skinny erection in my sleep, but I need some practice to take all those 9 inch cocks they're going to throw at me. That reminds me, I told them about your micro-penis and they said they have a couples audition for an interracial cuckold film coming up if you don't mind eating lots of black cum."
"And Stefania and I stumbled on your browser history when I was helping her find some immigration forms online so I knew you'd go along. We finished two bottles of wine while we laughed at your cuckold, cum fetish, pegging, and SPH favorites. Stefania said she had a cuckold back in Italy and volunteered to help me measure your little pecker for the correct size chastity cage."
"She told Robert they were the tits of a desperate housewife who was chronically unsatisfied by her husbands tiny pecker and direly in need of a good pounding by Roberts massive cock."
"Ray, you did get a blowjob last month. Remember that handsome new waiter we had that was flirting with me at Nemo's Pizza? He asked which pizza and I told him I was really craving an "Extra Large Sausage" but you wanted to share. He invited us to the back room and you got your monthly blowjob when you sucked his massive cock hard again to fuck me a second time."
"Robert has a couple of high scores he's more proud of. He's been 9 inches deep in Debra with his large cock where as Ray can barely hit 4 inches at his best. And Robert gave Debra 4 orgasms in a single session where as Ray's record is only one. And that one only happened because they were watching porn with a petite brunette take a massive cock when Ray finished way too early and Debra convinced him to let her finish grinding his face while she finished watching the porn."
"Unless you can arrange a match with your buddy Doug's coworker. Carrie told me that Deacon has a massive 9 inch cock and gives her multiple orgasms. She said his loads are so huge that even Doug has trouble licking it all up when they're done. On second thought, why bother with a bet. I'll just get Deacon's number from Carrie and invite him over. Make sure you eat a light lunch tomorrow."