"I like to think about Ashley Tisdale masturbating. I like to think about her masturbating and having orgasms during her teens. I also like to think about her peeing, sometimes. Even though it is far-fetched, because I know she wouldn't do it, I would pay Ashley Tisdale $1,750 just to have her pee on my kitchen floor in the dead of night. I know it is a moot point, but I would gladly pay her the money."