"Remember OSHA's three point rule- grip her by the hair, the asshole, with feet planted on the ground. It's for everyones safety. Now pound your cock into her skull."
"I knew a guy who dated a girl who years earlier had gone to a lifestyle party, miles from town. It was Halloween and at the end of the night when masks came off and people were waiting for taxis, she realized she had made out with and gone down on a co-worker. And they were cool with it, both obviously being sexually open. I just love that story. I wanna live in a world where your girlfriend rims a bitch, finds out it's Jessica from marketing, and says c'est la vie, let's be friends."
"There aren't any rednecks in Tujunga or that close to LA, and they probably wouldn't be driving Raptors if there were. But I'm sure there are some white trash ex-cons up there willing to teach a bitch a lesson. I start handing out the redneck card as far out as Oregon, Colorado or Texas."
"Haha! I've come home to find my girlfriend or wife not cleaned up yet, or one time still kissing the guy goodbye in the driveway, but never tied up. That would have been groovy."