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I have been tormented by this woman for years and years. Who is she? She goes variously by the name of Just for Fun Suzie 95 and Alex Cold 25. She is perhaps the most unlikely of my wank delights: scrawny, elderly, saggyily tiny titted. Except that she is supremely randy, with wonderful eyes and an endless desire, even need, to flaunt herself and her bald cunt. I know she is English. I know, too, that she lives in and around Brighton. I know also that she is something of a masturbation addict (meaning that I can only salute her). And I know, too, that she simply loves posing, outdoors especially, flashing her elderly hairless cunt – I almost wonder if she has ever had hairs down there – and ageing titties, all of which I adore. In short, being photographed and showing everything – I stress everything. I remain, in consequence, her slave. More than willingly. How much more than merely wonderful the world is that so improbable a sex object should be prepared to disport herself in so remarkable and randy a way.