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These are some of the sexual changes that I have been going through over the last 5 or six years. At first, they seemed like curiosity, but after a while they became strong and I felt like it what I was meant to do. It is hard to pretend I don't have these thoughts and desires. Somehow, I have become determined to be fucked by another man and start giving blowjobs. there are times I feel very submissive and feminine which is hilarious if you knew me because I am the exact opposite. It is like there is two sides of me, and one is screaming to get out. I started eating my own cum a few years back, and it has become something I crave. people exaggerate about it being an addiction, but for me it is like coffee or soda. I dont have to have it, but man it goes down nice sometimes. I often feel jealousy watching women eating loads in pornos. I also feel jealous seeing some chick getting her ass rammed by a masculine man. as the old saying goes, "I want to be her"