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When you see sex for what it is you will not be as insecure. If someone wants to have sex with someone else it has nothing to do with you or your value. It is their biology at work. When you learn to accept this fact, you can let your wife have sex with whoever she wants and it won't bother you. There is your wife, and there is her biology. The two are separate. If you love her you will accept both. People cheat and hide it because they were taught expressing themselves sexually, and freely is wrong. It is not. It is a taboo we must destroy.