So I'm on Scruff and get occasional messages from guys to chat or meet. Most things are unremarkable. I give good flirt but most of the time the chemisry is not there and everybody loses interest. A few guys last a day or two. I've seen exactly one boy from Scruff, and I liked him okay. We might try to hang out again, I suppose (though I'm losing interest pretty quickly due to having a boy I do like already).

So today I get this message from a very sub guy, a bit older than me. He tells me he's got fetishes, like he wants to gain a lot of weight and that he likes it when people make fun of his tiny dick. So I ask him how little it is. He tells me he's 3 inches hard. Suddenly (and I'm in my office when this happens), I turn totally & instantly icy cold dom bitch on him. Saying cruel things about his dick and forcing him to confess humiliating secrets about himself. I was demanding that he beat off while he told me about wanting to be cuckolded & dressed in lingerie. He was all meek and like "sir" this and "daddy" that.

It was really weird. It was like I was made to act like that with a certain kind of guy. But understand it was almost repellently easy to go there. And anything I said would have gotten that hopeless fucker off. So it wasn't like it was a challenge or sport. No satisfaction, and it absolutely did nothing to turn me on. I just wanted to see what it would feel like.

I ordered the twerp to make himself cum and then told him that I would not agree to meet him for more. I then gave him a stroke saying he was a good boy and that he took orders well. Then I forbid him from texting me saying that I would choose when I talked to him again. I probably won't to tell the truth. It just wasn't that interesting.

What was interesting was that it re-kindled an awareness of my dom and top qualities. I've been kind of obsessed with the bottom position for a while, as it tends to be what I dream about. I'm not interested in any of the boxes that go along with gay dating: bears, chubs, tops, bottoms. All of it bores me. But most of my messages are from much younger bottom-type guys who like guys my age. So I was unsure what to do with them. A bit of kai-kai is probably fun, but maybe not what these boys are looking for.

Now I'm remembering what my body wants to do. So that's good. And I didn't have to look at some pathetic little weiner to realize it. I just made him do all the work and then returned to my job. So icy and cruel. I didn't know I had it in me.