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are all married men sexually frustrated?
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Seriously, I'm curious. I understand no two people have the exact same kinks/preferences, and that women usually do not have the same sex drive as men. Moreover, once kids get in the picture everything changes, I get that too.
But overall, most of the men I communicate with here are married and the sex they get at home is too vanilla, or not frequent enough. I'm not advocating open marriage or anything, but it almost feels like we are punishing you guys with this monogamy thing, which seems to be actually working quite fine in other aspects? Or is it just a self selection, if you're not frustrated you're not creating accounts in porn sites anyway?
Or, is it simply a result of a long relationship? Like, whatever kink your wife doesn't like to do develops into fantasy, more and more an obsession? So if I am not into foot fetish, does that make it more likely that over time hubby will crave getting a footjob etc? If so, well then this is unfiaxable right?
Anyway, mostly just ruminating here, feel free to drop a comment and say what you think :)
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Posted on : Apr 25, 2016
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Commented on Sep 6, 2016
Personally, I think it is all the porn they watch and say my wife doesn't do that. OUTLAW PORN. lol right.j/k Don't burn me at the stake!
I am torn about open relationships. I do not think every couple is the same or want the same things. It is very important to realize that people change and what they want in a relationship 2 years ago, may not be what they want now. It is something that should be discussed if one person wants to. At least it isn't hidden that way.
Personally, I would rather have my guy doing stuff I know about than around my back and lying about it. But that is just me.
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Commented on Jun 1, 2016
I do advocate open marriage. I think monogamy is a cultural thing left over from an era before contraception. It's not a natural practice; it's learned behavior. Leaned behavior that no longer benefits most of us and doesn't fit reality. And yes, I suppose if I wasn't in an open relationship I'd be sexually frustrated too.
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Commented on May 2, 2016
Of course I can speak only for myself, but that won't stop me from making sweeping generalizations anyway. I think our biology goes head-to-head against the concept of monogamy. That's not to say that you can't have a loving and sexual relationship with one person for your whole life, but the fact that our social construct frowns upon sexual contact with anyone beyond the one person to whom you've committed seems artificial to me. It raises the question as to whether sex can be truly separated from intimacy and love. If sex is seen as a demonstration of affection -- or as a gateway to intimacy -- then it's natural for jealousy to be the result. But if sex is purely a physical desire (and btw, I think variation fuels that desire), then you might be more accepting of extra-marital sex while being secure in your relationship. I realize that sex can be all of the above, which is what makes this so messy.
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Commented on May 2, 2016
I understand the basic tenet of polyamory, but I have trouble seeing myself with the same intimacy and trust with two men - and I definitely would have problems with another woman (read: jealous bitch, what can I say it's me). Maybe it's more about conditioning when growing up and expectations and all that, I dont want to be judgemental. Would you be ok with sharing your wife, if she had kids with another men while saying I love you? I dont know, to me it seems difficult.
defiler, I do agree the society/media makes everyone feel like a sucker for sticking with monogamy. I dont know the solution to that, except for maybe treating marriage more like a temporary thing until the kids are old enough. But I've seen old couples who are everything to eachother and I'd be sad if I dont have that support when I'm old.
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Commented on Apr 27, 2016
I am for polyamory; ie loving many people simultaneously. Every relationship can be different and not necessarily sexual.
There may be a lack of communication or comprehension everyone's needs. We can not be frustrated and love to masturbate or watch porn sites. It's another thing, why be limited to a norm
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Commented on Apr 26, 2016
I'm a little sexually frustrated. Here's my take. (Married 6 years, We're in our early thirties lovely wife and I have great sex.)
She can be dirty, but won't admit it. She wants to maintain the vale of innocence. for example, she will seldom ask for my cock in her mouth. Yet, she really enjoys sucking on it. In that sense she's submissive.
I on the other hand, have a shy side about initiating sex. For example, I am working on not asking her questions. rather stating what I want. She is free to say no, but it is up to be to eliminate the ambiguity.
I use imagefap as a fictional space of my grossest fetishes. It is a vice for sure. This is a side I am not willing to share with her. So this is where the frustration comes in. Ideally I should be honest with her, and share my kinks. My desires with her are not as extreme as you see on my profile. (I wonder if it is down right offensive to you?) I'd like to open up with her and bring better balance to my jerking off in the corner in front of a screen and enjoying the real relationship and the sexual places we can get to together.
- Thanks for the therapy session.
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Commented on Apr 26, 2016
The legal & punitive aspects of marriage today are often the only reason many men are even still married in todays world.
Add to that a society that pushes sex almost continuiously in movies,tv shows and even comercials.
Its almost like the feeling of inadequacy that watching 'lifestyle of the rich and famous' could give you.
when you see what everyone else seems to have makes you think that you should be getting it too.
Expectations of what is normal is founded on the make believe world of the porn industry.
Additionally its just human nature to just get tired or bored with using the same cumdump everyday,week,year,decade,
Marriage today seems more like a trap.
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Commented on Apr 26, 2016
I can not answer for all men but for myself. YES! Vanilla, religious and uptight. Porn is for me both a vice and an outlet.
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