Confessions

A bit about myself, I'm a mid 30's guy with a sex drive of a 24 y/o with pretty much no inhibitions.  I'm an outgoing and explorative guy who's in decent shape, both mentally and physically.  I say mentally because I used to think I was all screwed up in the head about my sexuality.  See, here's the deal - I love sex, but not exclusively with women; I've love being with men as well.  I've had a habit to kick myself in the past and sometimes, though rarely, still do, that I'm outside the "norm" of society.  But I've mostly come to terms with the fact that I should just enjoy sex with men because sometimes it's SO much better than with women.  There isn't the drama, the bullshit, fear of pregnancy or need for a connection.  Just pure unadulterated, uninhibited, down-to-business, hardcore sex.  I'll add that - if you can truly trust the guy, unprotected ass fucking is the best...I'll go into that later.

I wouldn't say that I'm the most experienced nor fully engaged in bisex affairs , but compared to most other guys who identify themselves as bisexual or bi-curious, I've definitely had my fair share of fulfilling and gratifying experiences.  One thing that I've had a hard time coping with, is that over time, my character has transitioned in sexual roles as my first partner, Jay, can attest to.  I used to be "versatile" when it came to roles the two men played, but now I'm almost exclusively the "bottom" - I'd say I'm an easy 95% catcher, if not more.  In lieu of this, I've questioned my sexuality in the past.  I ALWAYS and exclusively imagine myself sucking cock or getting fucked by a guy or GROUP of men, during and up to, the point of ejaculation while I masturbate.  My saving grace is that I KNOW I'm still infatuated with women because every time I ejaculate, my mind immediately switches to me unloading into a woman's mouth or pussy.  That's where it gets confusing. 

Over time, I've learned to accept my thoughts and internally understanding that it's okay to NEED to make love to, or to savagely fuck a woman like a primal beast and the next minute wanting to experience the same actions with a guy who's ready to exploit my body as his bitch and only wants my servitude for his illicit needs.  Besides, as children we are given a game which conditions us for this...round peg goes in the round hole.  Or maybe I just take it too far.  Hee Hee hee :-)

Exploits

First and foremost, since I've already stated that I'm a bottom, that means I'm the one being penetrated and used as his female surrogate; I'm the one that willingly gives in and wants my body to pleasure his to the utmost of my hidden feminine capacity.  As stated above, I'm there only for his pleasure and to be his willing cum receptacle.  That being said, I prefer to have his sexual organ bare and stripped of barriers - unadorned of the protection normally employed when two men engage in homosexual behavior.  While I'm ecstatically and blissfully being sodomized anally by a man, I think that it's only appropriate that I take his sperm and seminal fluids into my body where it'll be absorbed and become a part of me like a good little bitch would.  Dangerous?  Hell yes, but you damn well better trust the guy.  I gotta be honest here, there is just nothing quite like milking a man with my tightened sphincter, in order to entice his sperm to pulse out of his body and into mine.  Even though it's widely forbidden in society, I become exceedingly thrilled, by gladly opening my hairy legs, pulling my cock and balls back and exposing my receptive opening in order to engage in sexual intercourse with another man; to willingly submit my hole and present myself in such a way to provide him with my body as we unite in an act of man-on-man coitus.  And it shall conclude only when I experience his primal urge to inseminate the improvised woman that lays or kneels before him.  His primitive urge will either leave me with the creamy, sloppy goodness my cock-entrance exhibits after being properly fertilized or the slight hint of a tangy taste in my mouth, a tickle in my throat and a belly full of cum.

Along with that, oral sex is the same way.  What kind of bitch would I be if  didn't allow him to ejaculate in my mouth and immediately swallow his essence?  A damn shitty one is what.  Most of Jay and I's times together, he's the one who cums - rarely do I.  It is the experience and thoughts of these times, that will always trigger many future orgasms; thinking of his ejaculate coating my insides or the taste and feel of him pulsing into my mouth is what I get off on.  It's also usually up to him to where he chooses to sow his seed.  When he tells me where he wants to release, rarely will I ask for a different location.  I'm not the best woman, but I'll declare that I'm a damn sight better than some women I've been with.  Suck cock?  Check.  Sucking cock to ejaculation?  Check.  Swallow sperm?  Check.  Ass to mouth in order to swallow?  Check.  Beat that bitches!

There have been only three times in my life (unfortunately), wherein I've had the opportunity to perform a 69 with another guy in which we both created a perfect moment in time by delivering our fluids to each other in perfect sync.  Now for anyone reading this, it truly is one of the most erotic experiences you will ever encounter and personally I don't think that it's possible NOT to swallow.  I won't even try to explain it other than saying, that during the absolute height of sexual desire, you can truly give a man a part of your life-giving force, while he in turn commits his to you.  Un-freaking-real...

Shall I begin to reveal specifics of my sexual conduct with men?  I thought you'd want that...  Positions.  Hmmm, where to start?  For that matter, where does it end?  ...in me...  Let me start by saying, there are many feelings that go into what positions I want or need when I'm being fucked by a guy.  But in turn, even if I'm not feeling what his wants are, a few choice words or actions are usually enough to get me into his state of mind.  What can I say, I'm an easy fuck for men if they simply express their needs to me!  Also, I'm including how many times a man has injected his seed in each position.

Being fucked missionary is more of a loving and willing position as I offer and give myself to him as a proper woman should.  I can wrap my legs around him and squeeze his ass as I pull him deeper inside; ironically letting him know that I've reached a place of pure and unwavering womanly ecstasy because his instrument of creation is buried to the hilt as he attempts to inseminate a man.  It also gives the opportunity to kiss if that feeling ever overwhelmed us to.  I'm not a big kisser of men, but it's happened before and there are times I've wished it would've happened but was too caught up on being "too gay."  However on the other side of the coin, I'm providing myself to him in place of female, shall I not perform all the duties associated?  When it truly comes down to it, there still has to be a connection with him in order to kiss.  16 times

When I want to feel (or maybe more importantly when he wants me to feel) unquestionably slutty and show him how willing I am to be his cum-slut, there is no better position than bending over for him in a doggy-style position or standing while bent over a bed/table/couch.  Funny thought just crossed my mind - there have been more than a few times that I've truly become a legitimate pillow biter when being fucked by a man in this position!!!  Also, in this stance I can look over my shoulder and give him what he wants to hear through words, while at the same time I prove my lust for the entire length of his cock by driving my body rearwards forcefully.  Things that happen to fall out of my mouth include, but not limited to, "Fuck my tight little boy-pussy", "I want you to blow that load inside and make me a proper bitch", "Anytime you want, I want you to come over to remind me of my proper place.  Fuckin' use me like the bitch I am...", "Shove it in as deep as you can when you breed me baby, I need to know how good it feels for you.  Prove to me that it feels good...pound me baby!"  11 times doggy, 5 times standing

Riding a man for me is all at once a slutty and whorish position, but with sensuality...also with a butt-load of willingness thrown in...pun intended.  When I'm facing him cowboy style (cowgirl just doesn't fit), I can't think of a more "willing" position to take him.  What could be more eager by accepting a man inside my boy-cunt when I provide myself to him like this?  I'm using my own power to lower my body, guiding his cock towards my entrance, allowing the glans to penetrate and split my wrinkle then slowly easing his entire length into my most-intimate-of-places; taking his cock as a welcome invasion of my bowels as I impale myself upon him?  I can't think of many things where choice is so one sided.  When I'm in the reverse cowboy posture, it pretty much equals doggy-style while laying down, but here he can clearly view more of the connection we have during penetration and fully enjoy our male-on-male attempt at copulation.  11 times

If the desire is to simulate a helpless or vulnerable mate, I'll always go with being fucked while on my stomach.  The depth he achieves isn't all that great, but the illusion of being powerless to his assertive needs definitely makes up for it.  To complete this fantasy, it's best if my hands are held down and he articulates to me that I'm there only for his pleasure and that deep down I'd much rather prefer it this way anyhow.  Unfortunately, the assertive side of this daydream has only reached fruition once.  Another outstanding aspect is that his cock consistently drives into my prostate. I do remember the first time Jay popped inside me in this position and it wasn't exactly pleasant.  I let him place his cock between my ass cheeks in an attempt to fuck my crack.  However, the feeling of his cock-head sliding across my anus over and over and over, began to overwhelm me with lust.  I slowly pushed my ass higher and higher until all of a sudden, he slid inside and was balls deep inside me.  OOOWWWWWW!!!!!  6 times

If being on my side is on the menu, it's more of a tender position in my opinion.  As with being on my stomach, the depth achieved isn't great, but I'm not feeling dominated by being held down and the weight of him isn't assisting in preventing me from moving away.  I will say though that it was in this position that for the first time, I coaxed another man's nectar from his body into mine (even though I didn't actually perform properly since I had passed out and he just took the liberty to give me something that deep down I secretly wanted).  In that respect, it holds kind of a nostalgic memory for me; the first time a man exploded his seed inside my body, I was nothing but his cum receptacle.  I long, but doubt it will ever happen again, to wake to a man already inside me and on the verge of completion.  More on that below in my "Desires."  2 times

The following only happened once, but was a truly pleasurable experience.  It is best explained as a combination of me on my back while he, on his side, penetrated me...perpendicular to each other.  This was relatively slutty as I held my legs back as far as possible in order for him to reach maximum depth as I looked at him and beseeched and pleaded for him to free his load.

The final position that comes to mind is the pile driver.  I've only had this once, and it was while I was being raped.  The guy who was not small in size, sunk into me in one insensitive motion causing my back to reflexively straighten in pain.  Unfortunately I was so drunk that I couldn't regain the motor control of my legs to kick him off.  So in short I had to go with it and let him finish.  It has only happened this once and truthfully towards the end, I started to REALLY get into it.  As I begged and pleaded for his cock to be pushed deeper, while bucking my hips into him in order to expedite the process and end the pain, I was overcome almost instantaneously with the urge that I TRULY did want him to explode inside me and turn my hole into a sloppy mess.  Never saw those thoughts coming... 1 time

Now on to other exciting events...

I've had every type of threesome imaginable but I'd have to say my favorite was being with two older men (one was late 30's the other was early 40's while I was 22) and was used exclusively for the satisfaction that only my mouth and ass could provide - I never achieved orgasm once.  This lasted for about 4 hours and had the added benefit of them taking charge and double penetrating my boy-pussy.  That night I had the pleasure of extensively kneeling doggy-style before both of them, ecstatically swallowing one man's semen while his buddy deposited his man-juice into my aft sperm-bank, afterwards they switched roles and I once again was rewarded with two more loads and finally I sucked off the more aggressive guy in the back seat of a minivan as his partner fingered my sloppy asshole while he drove me back to my barracks.

Not often enough, at my own fault though, I enjoy having a guy arrive only to find me naked and presenting to him.  Now if that doesn't register as "male whore" to him, I don't know what would.  Face-down-ass-up is my preferred position for this.

A weakness I have (I think Jay has found this secret) is that if I'm not in the mood for some homo sex, it can be easily dissolved and probably makes me wanting it more than he.  It's actually pretty easy to accomplish because most times, I concede and allow him to undress me.  At this point it takes very minimal effort to have my legs pushed to my chest and the coup de grâce is his tongue being deeply inserted inside my bowels.  Talk about getting a "FUCK ME NOW!" reaction from me.  I'd say it would take a minimum of 30 seconds of this before I'm putting my knees behind my elbows and wanting his tongue replaced by something else.  Don't get me wrong though, the longer he eats my smooth, boyish ass, the better - I'm just saying I'm entirely ready for his man-hammer by then.

Desires

The following are some things I would like to try or attempt that have not happened with a guy yet or have happened but want MORE of.

It should go without saying by now, that getting fucked bareback is something I can REALLY get into.  Truthfully, given the choice of either taking a cock with a condom on or going without sex...I'll go without sex thank you.  I suppose I wouldn't be against a guy pulling on a condom to prolong MY pleasure and then he pulls it off to cum in my mangina or inside my mouth.  But that seems incredibly selfish to prolong my own pleasure when he's not getting a whole lot of pleasure out of it until his orgasm hits.  ;-)

I do have an issue though that severely affects my sex drive after ejaculating when I'm with a guy.  I absolutely lose all interest.  To see if it's just me or if I'm even capable of continuing, I'd somehow like to test myself.  Someday while he jacks off, I'd like to try straddling him and face-fuck him until I orgasm, then immediately I'd drop down upon him and let him blow a load in my ass or suck him off for my own mouthful of his musky juice (being honest with myself, swallowing his jizz at that time would be truly hard for me to complete.)  Or equally, instead of face-fucking him, I'd ride his cock until I'm ready, I pull off, cum in his mouth and again slide back down around him until my ass is stretched wider as he swells with his own climax.  I just need to know how far my interest will go when with men.  ----Update on this, I have since rode him and came in his mouth, then rolled over and let him finish.  AND a second time I rode him until I came in his mouth then dropped back down upon him and allowed him to ejaculate inside me.  I CAN DO IT!!!  4 times to date...

Surprisingly I've never, not once, knelt before a guy, unbuttoned his pants, pulled them down and commenced in providing him with a non-reciprocal blowjob.  Kneeling between his legs as he reclined on a couch would suffice as well, but kneeling seems like a much better place for me...I'd venture to say that it's because a woman on her knees fits most porn videos that men would watch.  If I were ever to have a chance to sleep in the same bed or area as another man (ie. camping), a goal of mine would be to suck him off whenever I got the urge in the middle of the night.  He'd cum in my mouth, I'd swallow and that would be that.  I have sucked off Jay twice without his knowledge, however not to completion.  It was kind of a interesting thing really.  I crept my hand into his boxers and began to fondle his cock but he didn't get hard.  It wasn't until I slowly eased his boxers open and began to lick and suckle his penis like a baby on a teat, did I feel his length harden in my mouth.  I'm sure I tasted precum flowing from within and probably could've convinced his body to convulse with a nocturnal emission.  Oh well, live and learn, but boy it was intense! 

In a separate cock-sucking scenario, I am in no way against him telling me to kneel before him, he unbuttons and drops his pants, guides his cock into my mouth, grabs my head and then begins to thoroughly face-fuck me to completion.  A few slobber covered mushroom stamps to the face combined with some callous language would be a delightful addition to that experience. 

One last oral sex performance I've never encountered is to let him jack off before me - imagine a dog waiting for a treat.  When ready, he grabs my head and tells me to open up and he begins to cum in my waiting mouth.  In this scenario, the only thing I would touch him with is my outstretched tongue, during which, he spreads pre-ejaculate if any flows out and to finally rest his dick upon during orgasm.  All the while, I'm looking up at him and waiting for my command to swallow when he's given me all he has to offer.  I'd like to know what feelings women experience in porn, who's script demands that men are to beat off in her mouth.  Do they feel used and humiliated or dedicated to pleasuring that awesome piece of meat dangling right before them?  Personally, I prefer the latter reason and think it's fucking hot.

I've dabbled in wearing women's lingerie while alone and fucking myself stupid with dildos and vibrators, but I've never had the chance to fulfill that event with a man.  I'd usually throw the clothes away within months out of paranoia of being found out by the girlfriend at the time.  Some of the things I've bought include teddy's, crotchless panties, bras, garters and pantyhose.  Jay did say one time that his one wish was to be with a shemale...I'd fit the bill, no?  I doubt it'd become a staple of sex together, but I'm down for trying anything once!  If that ever was to happen I'd have to go all out to complete the illusion; wig, make-up, heels, possibly rubber breasts to fill out the outfit.

As said above, Jay had fucked me while I passed out and for the first time in my life, a man entrusted me with and wanted to sow his seed within my body.  I remember him pushing his dick inside of me without much pain but after about 10-15 strokes I just drifted off into a deep sleep while he had his filthy ways with my hole.  It wasn't until the next day did I find out the full extent of what had happened.  I had always been hesitant about swallowing cum or having him pulse inside my man-cunt, but that day was a turning point and ever since then, my ass has always been open for his pleasure.  I even went so far as to sneak into his house, lift his covers and proceeded to give him a blowjob until rewarded with his nut.  Afterward, I presented myself to him doggy-style and pleaded that he press inside me and cum a second time...surprisingly, all of this was done while I was completely sober.  During his exhaustive pounding, he had to tell me multiple times to shut up so his parents, whom were directly above us, wouldn't hear my moans - I'm sure that was my first pillow biting event as well.  I lost track of time but I think it was a good 30 minute nailing.  Anyhow back to the subject of being an unknowing participant.  It would be such an amazing thought to have a man push into me as I sleep and finish while I remained dead to the world.  That would help solidify that I'm a tool for his pleasure.

A MMF bisexual threesome is another fantasy.  Of course, the usual, "everybody plays together" applies, but ultimately I want my mouth or ass to be the ultimate destination of his ejaculate - not her. 

By now, I'm sure you the reader, are thinking that if a had a group of guys, say three or more, that I'd be more than willing to service them as well.  If I'm completely honest with myself and to you, I'd have to say that you are completely, utterly, categorically and unquestionably dead-nuts right on that I would.  I really don't care what happens, because I know that each and every shot of jizz that's blasted on my face, in my mouth, on my cock or in my bunghole would be another fantasy coming true.  With men, I could pretty much be described as their personal sperm-bank and every deposit into my mouth vault  or safety deposit "box" is treated as gold.

This has never been a big drive nor have I thought about it all that seriously, but I think it would be cool to get a double dildo and slide it into myself and my partner as we fucked  ass-to-ass.  There isn't the connection or anything but seems like it could be relatively fun.

I've thought about getting facials but have come to the conclusion that it is a complete waste of cum.  I can think of only two times that I would be okay with one.  The first is in the frenzied, scramble that happens during ass-to-mouth; a miss-timed spurt happens before I can engulf the cock.  The final would be during a male group orgy.

I think - no, let me rephrase, I KNOW I'd love to be with a shemale myself.  She'd definitely have to be passable though and I'm positive she would turn me on the most if she were an Asian.  As the same with men, I doubt that I'd be able to be her top...but who knows.  I don't see much hope for that fantasy carrying out so it's pretty much at the bottom of my "to-do" list.

If the reader, you, have ever read many stories, be them hetero, bi or gay, I'd say more than half of them include descriptions of a man or woman being able to actually FEEL when the guy climaxes inside of them.  Now I don't know about you, but out of the 52 times a guy has cum inside me, the only way I truly know he has finished, is the sloppiness that is felt as the sperm coats his cock and lubes my ass-turned-pussy.  I have been told by women that if I hold completely still, she can feel the pulsing of my cock.  So what I'm trying to say is that I want to have a Mythbuster's moment to confirm or bust this legend and see if it's truly possible to experience those sensations when a man ejaculates inside another man.  I'm not sure if the sphincter muscle is sensitive enough to feel the relatively slight throbbing of a penis though.  It may be of assistance to have him pull out when he's close, I take air into my relaxed ass, he pushes back inside and then let him continue through release.  Who knows of what the result will be, but I hope that if he remains perfectly still, I may feel his jism splashing against my colon walls.  I suppose in the very least, I could confirm or bust the myth and my curiosity would be laid to rest...I'm prepared in the name of science by accepting that it could take many, many, many times to exhaustively test that theory to be sure.  Who's game?  I'm thinking though that if I did happen to feel his mating rhythm, that I'd want it more and more, unfortunately leaving him in a position to not fully enjoy his own orgasm.