The Case for Slave Play

Today’s women report that they want additional structure and greater intensity in their sexual relations. In frank discussions with dozens of women, married and single, the common conclusion is that the pendulum of feminism has swung too far. That women are grateful for the additional power they’ve earned in everyday life, but are willing to cede control and power when behind closed doors. And that today’s men are far less capable of taking control than women would like.

Slave play is a legitimate response. Increasingly, postings on women’s forums, on craigslist and women’s fantasy literature highlight the eroticism of women’s sexual submission. Recent studies indicate that more and more women fantasize about being helpless while a man, or men, uses her body for perverse pleasures. This may be a response to the additional responsibilities that “liberated” women now encounter; a need for someone else to be in control for a while. It may also be a response to society’s taboo regarding regarding such subservience; if someone else initiates it, a woman can’t be censured for it.

Whatever the motivation, slave play is increasingly becoming a sexual option for many couples. And while popular culture provides tantalizing clues about submissive tactics and behaviors, it ultimately leaves us thirsting for more information. Slave play is most successful when initiated in small steps, slowly pushing a woman’s boundaries while stretching a man’s imagination and creativity. Unless a woman is instinctively submissive, a very rare condition, a multi-step process is the best way to create the proper balance of tension and anticipation that leads to pleasure for both parties.