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Learning
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A Master's love for his sub runs deep, and is earned and gives with
A/all his heart. He earns the trust of the person becoming his sub.
T/they grow T/together in a relationship that will take T/them into a
lifestyle where T/they work to please the other. This process starts
with a courting time period where the Master and the prospective sub get
to know each O/other and learn about each other. The time frame is as
long as T/they wish it to be which is for as long as they are T/together
in the relationship. Once the trust of the sub has been given to the
Master freely, then they progress into the relationship. Learning what
the others limits are and T/their wants, needs, and desires.
Then in time those limits and desires are pushed slowly and gently. Some
Master's may push harder than others but get the same results in time.
The Master works with the sub shaping him/her to becoming a good
submissive. It takes time and does not happen overnight like some would
like to believe. It could take weeks or months depending on how much
T/they want to get into the lifestyle of BDSM, (Bondage &
Discipline/ Sadomasochism). Some will come into this lifestyle and use
some of the techniques just to spice up their sexual lifestyle. While
O/others will make a lifestyle out of it, and embrace it and learn more
about the BDSM lifestyle so few talk about.
As a Master you can learn from other Master's that have been in the
lifestyle and know things that will either help guide you or things you
can use or just chalk up as comments. Some things that you can learn as a
Master from your sub is what he/she is into and is willing to do by
doing a BDSM partner checklist. The checklist will help you both in
finding what the other is willing to learn and do. The time you both
spend learning T/together and being honest and open with each O/other
will greatly enhance your relationship.
As a Master I am constantly learning with my submissive. W/we have an
open and honest relationship and it grows with each passing day. As it
can happen to those new to the lifestyle and that want to learn and grow
in something new. In time the relationship will grow and you B/both
will become closer and you will learn new things and grow T/together. It
is a challenge to B/both of you to push each O/other's limits and test
each O/other on different ideas and things that you both want to do and
learn.
Once the trust has been developed and grows then the relationship will
progress and you will be able to do different things. The main thing to
remember is that BDSM is to be safe, sane and consensual between both
parties. Having a safe word helps and also having negotiations also
helps with the learning process. A submissive is a person and not a
doormat to walk on. T/they are human and should be treated as such.
Submission to a Master is a gift and given freely. IT is earned and
respected by the Master/Top.
Some confuse a Top/DOM when talking about the BDSM lifestyle. They think
the two are the same when in truth the two are very different. A Top is
someone who is an active partner in a scene, or someone who enjoys the
dominant role in a S/M scene. A DOM is someone who has been given
control and who has earned the trust and respect of his submissive. He
has taken the time to learn about what the sub missive's limits are and
how far he can push them.
The DOM is also a person who the submissive lets into their mind and
push their buttons to see what limits can be pushed. But being either a
DOM/Top it must be safe, sane and consensual so that neither person
involved gets hurt. That is the main thing in the lifestyle that people
need to think about, Am I a Top? Or a DOM? Sometimes people mix the two
or think that one is the other.
Speaking on safety in the BDSM lifestyle it is always a good idea to
have a safe word. A safe word is a word the submissive says when things
get to a point he/she is not comfortable with. The safe word can be
anything from (someone's name, to some color,) or something that will
stop the action and that has been agreed upon by both parties in
advance. So please use a safe word when involved in a scene or whatever
is going on at the time.
Most times in a BDSM relationship a contract is written up between the
DOM and submissive. This contract lays out the groundwork for the
relationship and what is expected from the DOM and submissive. Some are
basic and simple and then some get really in-depth and specific as to
what the submissive will do for the DOM. The DOM usually writes up the
contract on things that are important to the relationship and that the
DOM and submissive have talked about and agree on.
Everything that I have been writing about are the things I have learned
in my experience in BDSM. I am still learning to this day as a Master
and growing with my submissive. I am very happy with my submissive and
love and care for her very much. In time things will grow and will
progress as W/we try different things and push our limits. This short
writing is about things I have learned and want to pass onto O/others
that would want to try the BDSM lifestyle for either heightened sexual
pleasure or they want to incorporate into their lives in some way.
In conclusion to this writing, I would wish you A/all a very healthy and
fun time in whichever part of the lifestyle you get into and pursue. Be
safe, sane, and consensual in the decision you decide. The lifestyle is
not for everyone and you may just use some of it to spice up your
sexual activity. Always keep love and trust and respect foremost in
A/all your hearts and minds. Be Well and Safe.
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Posted on : Mar 31, 2013
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