Some things have been bothering me, so I wanted to explain and maybe get some responese from people.

I started with my present mistress by using her services as a escort. She was 23 and I was in my 50's. It was a good relationship. We eventually became friends. I had some prostrate surgery and it became difficult to fuck. She didn't like this. She said she no longer wanted to have sexual relations with me because I couldn't satisfy her and I was becoming unattractive. She said that I could still give her money and be her friend.

Because she was so pretty and sexy, I agreed. I was allowed to dress her for her "dates" and i could stay in an adjacent room and listen. I was also allowed to "clean" her up.She also wanted me to also clean up her apartment and do her chores. She didn't want me to try to have sex with other escorts and said that she would even dictate when I could masturbate.

She has lots of Rw boyfriends and she sends me pictures during her sexual encounters. I enjoy this somewhat but I am now feeling bad about myself. Sometimes, she's very affectionate and we hold each other, but she has a mean streak. I've developed a taste for her various boyfriends/client's cum, but is that what i want for the rest of my life?