As a followup to the events of last night.

So, one of the girls even banned me for a month because I was being just slightly snobbish I suppose. And I mean like super slightly too. Another girl, I said the wrong thing and the other guy in the chat accidentally followed up on what I was saying, and we both realized after it was one of the preferences to avoid that's listed in her room's rules. So, genuine mistake, but instead of getting banned, we scared this girl off! The other guy came in the room after both the cam girl and the one guy left, and was like wait what even happened. We talked for a few and went on our way.

I've had this happen before. I got banned at a comedy open mic just for eating an outside apple onstage. I must have been more of a jerk than that on that night, never got the full story of what went wrong. Allowed to go back onstage now though. I remember one guest host mistook it as me not even being allowed to go at all, that was sad. And not to mention the time I lost my college's talent show to a guy who was on the student government. I mean actually robbed. I still remember one girl going up to me a week later and saying "you won the talent show."

On the positive side, I did still talk a bit with the original cam girl, another girl I discussed Steven Universe with, and one girl even let me on her Insta! So, progress is being made for sure. It takes a little effort but I'm in the right direction. I refuse to use Reddit and Twitter and so on as that makes it too easy. I want friends from real places, and ImageFap is much realer than Reddit would ever be. It's called humility.

More problematic for me has been my fiance's reaction to all of this. Not that I'm watching porn, in fact I haven't even jacked off since I last saw her. I'm literally just here to interact with people, which is a major perceived threat to her as she feels she has a hard time making friends. Doesn't want to share and all that, although I find that sad as I feel she has good communication skills when she puts her mind to it.

JoeyJoe if you see this, my take on your previous advice is that people in real life have been easy enough. I suppose then specifically it's about the challenge of online interaction. Maybe I'm being condescending about that. Pretty much all I'm saying is the skill of catching people's attention online is what I'm working on. 

I guess in the age of disconnecting from people even in real life this is where we're at. Making versus keeping friends, that kind of deal. We're trying Tinder and Omegle and such, but establishing long lasting online friendships can be cumbersome even in lockdown. She doesn't care if I watch porn, as it's impersonal. But to go on a porn site just to make friends? Heaven forbid. Maybe she could find people on Deviant Art, as she draws some herself. The point is finding outlets for connection.

Currently have the original girl's page up in the background as more radio.

-Russly