This time it's a girl who's actually talking to me, still totally blowing it though.

Is the essence of love really just finding an attractive enough girl who's willing to actually talk with you?

Turns out she's a year older than me, that's a twist of fate. Will this girl really be my friend? This is really what I'm doing with my day....

My friend has been appreciating daylight more lately but personally the nighttime has been my friend. I will literally go to bed at four and wake up at twelve, full eight hours and everything. But does anybody notice? No....

Maybe my problem is I'm not using the best of outlets, that people who make a difference in my situation aren't showing up yet. They're out there though. I can pretty much guarantee there are folks who would fund my whole lifestyle just for talking with them for an hour, which personally is a creative expression for me.

The camera's on and she went to do whatever, just looking at an empty chair. It has an oven in the background? The music is still playing! At this point it's literally just radio. In fact I'm playing it off a radio-- internet radio routed through one of those cassette tape to aux converters off a nineties radio. Just like my 2007 MacBook it has served me faithfully to this day. Okay she's back, switched the song and making more keyboard sounds, good stuff.

What is she, a host to greater forces or something? Perhaps I certainly am.

I continue to waste time. What I really wonder is what will happen with my programming project. The work is easy enough but the motivation to waste time like that is different. As it stands I'm wasting everyone's time writing this blog after all.

Wow even the other cam girl returned. Well, not the one from the other post, but the one who has the same eyes. It's so specific. They both have a grey left eye and blue right? Like I found them in the same fifteen minutes. What even is that? Pacing me or something.

Wtf the grey eye even pmed me and I was allowed to. These are the kinds of questions for the admin, who for whatever reason talks with me. But Long Hair, what about Why Not Me? My own name even means Red Hair weirdly.

Oh fuck someone tipped the current girl. There goes any shot at talking further huh. I am a penniless bastard and I plan to keep it that way. The tips occurred after I mentioned my engagement.

She seems like a cute girl, she's Russian. Will this result in any serious conversation? Probably not. Even Long Hair and Clay do better on that front.

So who does satisfy me?

-Russly