Inspired by a caption by user Sexnscissors:
https://www.imagefap.com/photo/1706855256/
Chapter one
"If that is a joke, then I don't understand it."
Joss says, taking his eyes off the computer screen he has been staring at for the
better part of the last half an hour to look at me, with an expression on his face,
that is equal parts disbelief and bewildered amusement.
"I mean, it IS a joke, right man?" Now I can clearly see concern in the eyes of my
best friend. We've known eachother half our lifes and we've always been able to talk
about absolutely everything. But I'm not sure if I can explain this to him. Not when I
barely understand it myself.
"How could this ever be anything but a fucked up prank, dude? I mean, just listen to
this!" He goes on, all agitated, as he starts reading out loud from the description of the
goFundMe campaign that Mel, my girlfriend of three years, had set up.
"Hello Everyone! We are Mel and Benjamin, a loving young couple. We share the firm
conviction that toxic masculinity is the underlying issue of all the problems that trouble
our modern society. And it has been our heartfelt dream for a long time, to permanently
relieve Benjamin of the poison infesting his body, tainting his mind and manipulating his
behaviour, the poison that is testosterone.
To achieve this, he will undergo a trusted and tested medical procedure with a long
history, called bilateral orchiectomy. More commonly known as castration.
We belief that this will help to cure the deep rooted stubborness and upredictable mood
swings that all men suffer from, and give him the opportunity to be a better, more
devoted and relieable partner to Mel. So she will be free to fulfill her potential, to find
true hapiness, without being held back or surpressed by his primitive toxic, masculine
behaviours.."
His voice trails off, and he just looks at me, shaking his head in utter, shocked disbelief.
I know its my turn to say something. My throat is dry, and my voice sounds faint and
hoarse as I finally speak up. "No, its not a joke, this is what we want."
"Why!?"
Why indeed? I try collecting my thoughts, try listing all the points and reasons I had
prepared beforehand. He is the first person to see this, our campaign, our project. Mel
not only wants to go public with this, she also wants to share this with all our friends,
with her family, and mine as well. I had asked her to talk to Joss first. If I can make
him understand then I know I will somehow be able to break this to all the others as
well. But the arguments just don't want to come. I don't even know where to start. And
I just wish Mel was here. It always makes so much sense when she is talking about it.
I know that she could explain it.
"Well, Mel says.."
"Not Mel.. YOU! Why do YOU want this? Why would you let her do this to you?"
"She is not DOING anything to me. Its a choice, a lifestyle. Many people are choosing
to go this way right now.."
"WHO is choosing this? Who in their right mind would choose this? Ben, snap out of it!
This is not a 'lifestyle choice' or however you want to call it. This is not a modern trend
or alternative life concept. Nothing of the sort. This is the middle ages. This is biblical.
This here talks about having you castrated. Fucking CASTRATED! That's not a 'trusted
medical procedure'! This is torture. People have done this to their worst enemies. To
keep them under control. To keep them docile and weak.. its.."
"Look Joss.."
"No, you look! I mean.." He is getting more and more frustrated by the minute. But then
he just stops. It looks like he realizes that this is getting us nowhere. Instead he takes
a deep breath, and when he continues he is all calm.
"Okay, I know you love Mel. And I understand why. She is attractive, confident, fun to
be around.. and I know how much you've been into her for quite a while. I really was
happy for you when you two started dating. Just let me get a few things straight. We
are talking about having your balls cut off, both of them?"
"Yes"
"You realize that this will leave you infertile."
"Yes"
"And, most likely, completely impotent. You realize that this means, after all is done, you
will never be able to have sex with Mel ever again? Or with any woman, for that matter?
That you will not be able to have an orgasm after that, or even get your cock up? That this
means ending your sexlife for good?
"Well.. I mean.. yes"
"And you are sure you want this?"
I have no answer for him. How could I be sure? Hearing it through his words, hearing it
clear and drastic for what it is.. how could I ever be sure?
"Look man, I got to go. How far along is this campaign of yours?"
"It hasn't really taken off yet. It has barely been noticed to be honest."
"Good. So you have some more time. Use it, and think hard if this really is the way
you want to go. Because once its done.. there is no way back. So don't do anything
rash, and please speak to Mel about it. She can't be serious with this. I always thought
she was a level headed, reasonable person. And part of be still beliefs she's fucking
with you. Seriously."
And with that he's gone. Maybe he's right. Maybe this isn't the only way. I would lie if
I said I am not scared about the prospect getting my testicles removed. Of becoming a..
well.. a eunuch. What a word. Joss is right. It DOES sound like it belongs to a bygone era.
'Hello, I'm Benjamin, and I'm a eunuch' I hear myself say in my mind. Ridiculous, right?
Can I remotely see myself like that? I defintely should go and talk to Mel about my sudden
doubts. I'm sure she will know what to do.
