I have since kind of realized I'm trans and started transitioning and for a while I didn't want to sexualize myself or associate my being trans with porn.
I've met a lot of amazing supportive people , however , sometimes I wish I could just leave that whole support network behind and be scandalous.
In my first year of highschool I was profoundly understimulated , I don't mean to bother you with the details of the education system in the Netherlands but basically despite my grades in elementary not really giving any concrete indication towards it I was put on a lower 'level' than I really should have been "to be on the save side".
This is a terrible idea, understimulated kids with quite a lot of spare time are prone to develop addictions.
Luckily I just spend a lot of time on the internet instead of becoming a junky streetrat ( although...) , and while it didn't really impact my grades it did worry my parents a bit.
So to keep it in bounds they put a program on my pc that limited the time you could browse, and they set it a bit short.
Like most kids faced with this restriction at the time I quickly found a ton of get arounds , like messing with the operatings systems clock, using obscure browsers the program didn't support ( it didn't cut off all internet functionality, it still had to support outlook and stuff.) , but limiting the browser time was not the only thing the program did.
My parents , being educated Dutch randstedelingen ( the Randstad is a area that includes the 'major' cities here) were not particuarly prudish or anything but the program also catered to the biblebelts of the world and blocked off acces to 'mature sites'. AKA the thing a healthy developing kid finds edlessly intriguing and wants to seek out if you make it tabboo ( honnestly at first I didn't even miss pornsites that much I was just annoyed I couldn't go to sites like deviant art )
I didn't have the balls to just walk up to my parents and ask them to unlock the sites , and I'm not even sure if you could turn it off independently , so I needed a work around.
So with a lot of probing I found one site with explicit content not on the he programs list that didn't get on there within a week : tgstorytime.com.
And I found that some stories were even well writen.
I think that I wouldn't have all the kinks I have or maybe even explored my femininity as much without that program.
