An article I found about the social advantages of Cuckolding
SOUND
REASONS FOR CUCKOLDRY IN TODAY'S SOCIETY
by Dr. Ann
After
studying human sexuality for many years it has become inarguable to
me that a cuckold relationship (in which the wife engages in sexual
activity with a variety of men while her husband remains faithful) is
most compatible with basic human evolutionary make up. It is straying
from this evolutionarily grounded human bonding relationship that has
produced such misunderstandings and conflict between the sexes.
At
the very base of this principle is the understanding of a woman's
psychological need for a variety of sex partner's. Psychologically,
women are hardwired differently than men. A woman has a dual sex
drive. The first is centered on finding a mate for life to help
support her and her offspring. This is why (and when) love is such an
important part of a women's sexual desire. The second is a desire to
obtain a variety of the best genetic material to produce the best
children. This second desire begins to grow once a woman has found
her life mate and grows stronger as time with him progresses.
Eventually, this later and more powerful drive overpowers her sexual
desire for her life mate. This is why a woman's sexual desire for her
husband diminishes over time. At the same time her sexual desire for
other men is increasing. Often this desire for other men becomes so
strong she cannot deny it. This does not make her immoral or mean
that she no longer loves her husband. It is simply part of her
genetic code.
Physiological sexual differences
between men and women also support the cuckold relationship as the
ideal for marriage. It is well known that women don't reach her
sexual peak until they are in their thirties, while men peak by the
time they are twenty. In a typical marriage, a wife is generally
younger than her husband or the same age. As a result, a woman's
increasing sexual appetite, do to her biologically age based sex
drive, gives her greater sexual needs than her husband. She needs
more sexual encounters, longer sexual encounters and more orgasms
than her spouse. Her older or same age husband, on the other hand,
wants sex far less than his wife, oftentimes lasts only a few minutes
before he reaches orgasm and then, no longer interested in sex,
leaves his wife unsatisfied and frustrated. As a marriage continues
this discrepancy in sexual needs increases dramatically, usually to
the breaking point of a wife secretly finding a lover or lovers
outside the marriage.
Compounding this is that nature
has not only given women a two prong and exponentially stronger sex
drive than men, it has also given women the ability to experience a
far greater quantity, intensity, and variety of sexual pleasure and
orgasm than men. This is nature's way of motivating a woman to seek
out sexual activity considering the risk she bears in doing so. (Even
though today's contraceptives greatly reduce these risks, they do
nothing to diminish the internal triggers that drive a woman's need
for a variety of sex and sex partners. If anything, this reduction of
risk intensifies her drive to seek pleasure.)
As a
result, women can experience a wide range and intensity of sexual
pleasure and diversity of orgasm. Besides the pleasure and orgasms
derived from manual, oral and coital stimulation of a woman's
clitoris, all three of which feel distinctly different, a woman can
reach a completely different sensation of pleasure and a completely
different orgasm from the stimulation of her g-spot by a well endowed
man. A woman can even reach orgasm by proper stimulation of her
nipples if she has been brought to a state of intense clitoral
arousal. Stimulation of her nipples and clitoris at the same time
will give her a yet another unique intense orgasm. Her ultimate
height of pleasure is found in oral or manual titillation of her
clitoris while simultaneously having her g-spot stimulated. It is
interesting that this is best accomplished by the use of multiple
sexual partners, suggesting nature's preference for male, female,
male couplings. Finally, the crowning pinnacle of a woman's sexual
superiority is her ability to have a multiple orgasm and full body
orgasmic experiences.
Men, on the other hand, are far
simpler sexually. Stimulate their glans (the little patch of skin at
the front of the penis just below it's head) and they ejaculate.
Furthermore, men can get nearly the same level of satisfaction from
masturbating as the do completing a sex act with a woman. For women,
masturbation will give them only temporary relief. Women need to have
sex with a partner to be fully satisfied, especially psychologically.
The male also has a much simpler sex drive than a
woman. He simply wants to mate with any female he finds desirable.
The longer he is denied sex, the stronger his desire grows and the
criterion by which he finds a woman desirable lowers. Since it is the
woman who decides if he will be allowed to have sex with her or not,
his desire for her sexually is also linked to the desire for her
approval. As he becomes more interested in her the desire to please
her as a way to get sex can become overwhelming for him. That is why
you will often see men acting foolishly in front of females they
desire, even though they have no chance to have sex with them. That
is also why, once married, a man will begin to take his wife for
granted; now that he has easy availability of sex from her, she
becomes less desirable to him.
One might think that
this is a good argument for having an open marriage in which both a
wife and her husband find sexual partners outside their marriage.
Interviews with couples in open marriages have shown that these
marriages almost always lead to a competition between the two spouses
regarding who is having more sex with more partners. A wife will
always win this competition because it is much easier for a woman to
find sexual partners than it is for a man, . The competition,
however, can become nasty, ugly and often cruel. A wife will
sometimes be drawn into the competition so deeply she will have sex
with far more men than she wishes too, and her husband will have
growing feelings of inadequacy, as he cannot keep up with his wife.
This kind of competition almost always destroys a marriage.
Furthermore, the idea of open marriage assumes the
erroneous notion that men need a variety of sex partners. While all
evidence indicates that a married woman both physiologically and
psychologically does need a variety of sexual partners, a married man
does not. The genetic code that drives a man is the thrill of
pursuit, not the need for variety. Husbands in clinical studies who's
desire for their wives have waned and who's interest have turned to
other women have been completely turned around when their wives begin
using arousal and denial techniques on them. These techniques instill
uncertainty in the husband as to whether he will be allowed to
complete a sex act with her or not. Time after time, in study after
study, these husband's desires have been focused back to their wives
exclusively, losing all interest in other women. The wives in these
studies were even able to vary their husband's level of interest
through increasing or decreasing their application of arousal and
denial techniques. It was further found that when these same wives
reverted back to traditional sexual practices with their husbands,
their husbands began to loose interest again and began to again look
at other women as possible sex partners.
Interestingly,
it was during the sexually repressive Victorian Era that an unusual
mix of cuckoldry and the sexual arousal and denial of males was
employed. It was believed at that time that many ills were caused by
excessive male ejaculations. They believed that loss of sperm
contributed to a whole host of maladies, from asthma to mental
illness. As a result, chastity devices were often prescribed for men.
This practice was so prevalent that over two hundred patents for male
chastity deviceswere applied for during this era.
Conversely,
at this same time, it was believed that women suffered hysteria from
lack of sexual release. Orgasmic therapy was prescribed for the
treatment and prevention of female hysteria. Women would visit their
doctor, or the doctor would come to a woman's home to manually, or in
secret, by more intimate means, deliver her orgasms. Most often it
was married women who requested this therapy, often as much as three
times a week. Some doctor's journals noted that the demand became so
great that they had to delegate these visits to their interns.
A
structured practice of female sexual satisfaction and male denial
grew quickly. Women had a lot of leisure time and spread the word of
the benefits of orgasmic therapy and spousal chastity through the
popular women's societies prevalent at the time. Since men could not
be trusted to have self-discipline, their wives were usually given
the keys to their chastity devices. A kind of secret society
developed in which these wives called themselves Key Holders. Key
holding wives would deny their husbands sex while they enjoyed the
services of their physicians and their physician's interns or
secretly engaged in sex with other men. Within these women's clubs
women introduced other wives who were unsatisfied with their
husbands, to recommend chastity for their husbands and treatment for
hysteria for themselves. Doctor's finding a man's wife desirable
would also prescribe the same in order to gain access to her.
Some woman's journals discovered from this time
period tell of their exploits with doctors, interns and other
available men. The jest of the mailman and milkman delivering more
than mail and milk are very well rooted in fact. It is interesting
that a whole society developed around wives having sex with other men
while denying their husbands who had to remain faithful to them. It
is not uncommon to find entries in a wife's journal such as "I
had a wondrous day today. After a most satisfying visit, for both
myself and Doctor Elbridge's young intern, I spent a delightfully
entertaining evening raising my poor husband's lustiness near to its
pinnacle during this time that he must abstain from loosing semen.
His antics were most amusing and raised my own lust. As always, he
proved his devotion to me by pleasuring me in a most deliciously
French way.( Mine will be the most scrumptiously naughty story of any
lady tomorrow at tea)
Another journal tells how
excited one wife was that she had her husband doing housework, an
unheard of practice at a time when male and female roles were so
rigid, illustrating again how arousal and denial of sex can totally
alter a man's behavior. Other journal entries tell of the rise in
attention from their husbands and the thrill of sneaking around
behind their husband's back and having sex while their husband was
"locked in his cage."
While diagnosing the
damage done to women by denying them the fulfillment of their sexual
needs may have been falsely labeled hysteria, the doctors of
Victorian times were startlingly near the mark. Victorian doctors had
insightfully identified the need women had for sex with a variety of
men.
Unsurprisingly, since human societal structures
were originally matriarchal, societies that still live today in ways
closer to our original female and male roles do not suffer from the
damages of psychological and physiological stress. These more basic
societies, far from the modern world, are nearly always matriarchal.
It is the women in these societies who control property, family
affairs and sexual activity. These women will usually have multiple
husbands and lovers. One or two of these men provide them with food,
shelter and security, while the others provide them with sex. Male,
female, male couplings are not only accepted, but quite normal. In
some societies, certain "stud" males will exclusively
service a wife, in others, wives will share, exchange and even trade
stud males. Men in these societies are happy in their subordinate
roles to women. While there are some incidents of jealousy, there is
no violence, crime, or sexual perversion. Men are focused on pleasing
their wives instead of impressing other women in the group or
competing with other men, except in the area of being good sex
providers. Wives will keep this competition light and fun and
ongoing. Men focused on this kind of competition do not compete with
each other in other ways either, leading to much stronger male/male
friendships and cooperation.
An unlikely place further
confirmation of the appropriateness of cuckolding in human bonding
relationships was discovered in the findings of primate studies. In
one study, researchers found two anatomical influencers of fidelity
in primates. One was the physical size difference between the sexes.
The other was the male's ratio of penis size to body ma*s.
It
was found that in those species of primates where the female was
considerably larger than the male, the female would have many sexual
partners and bond with none. As female/ male size became closer, the
female would bond with one male. This male would remain faithful to
her, but she would continue to have sex with non-bonded males. It was
found that this was not reversed until the male became extremely
larger than the female.
The second influencer the
researchers discovered was the ratio of penis size to body ma*s. In
species where the difference in physical size between the sexes was
slight, (as it is in humans) the penis to body size ratio increased
female dominated sexual behavior. The smaller the penis to body size,
the more bonded males were restricted to activity with only their
mate while females would engage in sexual activity with a variety of
non-bonded males. Within these groups, females would generally bond
with males with smaller penises and engage in sexual activity with
better-endowed, non-bonded males. The most common activity between
females and their mates was grooming and eating, with the far greater
amount of sexual activity occurring between mated females and males
other than their mates. Neither mated nor non-mated females would
engage in sexual activity with bonded males who were not their own
mates. The most frequent sexual activity of bonded males was
masturbation.
This study particularly intrigued me
because it's findings correlated so closely with my own experiences.
I have a*sisted many couples in beginning and maintaining cuckold
relationships. Among my patients, husbands with smaller penises were
not only more agreeable to being cuckolded, but would even sometimes
suggest it. These very enlightened, lesser-endowed, husbands were
keenly aware of their inability to satisfy their wives sexually. By
accepting their wives engaging in sex with other men they were
relieved of the pressure to perform.
It makes sense
that this behavior would be present in humans since humans are
primates whose difference in size between the sexes is slight and
men's penises are very small when compared to their body ma*s. Also
interesting is that women, like other primate females, will rarely
engage in sex with married men. A husband's wedding band makes for a
fairly efficient chastity device. A wife's wedding band, however,
does little and sometimes even encourages pursuit by men. This
further illustrates that the innate human proclivity for cuckold
relationships goes genetically even deeper.
Our
modern morals and the female/male roles imposed on us by society are
not only aberrant behavior given our genetic make up, but
psychologically unhealthy and morally unethical. It is unfair that a
woman is forced to repress the powerful sex drives that are so
genetically imbedded in her psyche. Most married woman simply can't
do it. It is uncountable today how many wives are having sex with
other men behind their husband's back because our society cannot
accept a woman's natural needs.
At what point did we
move from a matriarchal to a patriarchal society that perverted our
male and female sexual roles? We have so inverted out ideas of human
sexuality that we have come to believe that women have a lower sex
drive than men when the reverse is true. We think that men should be
free to have sex unbridled, when it is women who should be freed and
men bridled. We have created a society in which women struggle with
guilt and frustration over their natural sexual needs while men are
obsessed with perverted sexual deviations from far too great an
access to far to great a variety of sexual stimuli and
freedom.
Just as our modern lives preventing us from
responding to our need to express our flight or fight response leads
to stress, and our turning from whole foods to processed foods give
us all sorts of physical ailments, our denial of our natural sexual
programming leads to untold emotional and behavioral problems. It
would startle the average person to learn how many divorces are
caused by the inequity of a woman's unfulfilled sexual needs. In an
effort to protect the man from humiliation it is rarely mentioned in
polite society that the reason for a couple's divorce was because the
wife was finding sexual satisfaction outside their marriage. If we
could be open and honest about a women's needs, and that it is not
the fault of their husbands that they need to fulfill those needs
outside their marriages, then maybe we could begin to embrace
cuckoldry as a healthy societal norm and save far more
marriages.
I have saved many marriages in my practice
by gently introducing the idea and practice of cuckoldry to
struggling couples. I have seen in my own female patients that once
they start to engage in sex outside their marriage with the
acceptance of their husbands and the security that their husbands
will remain faithful, they become more centered, calm and confident.
Similarly, once their husbands get past their jealous feelings and
fear of inadequacy they become calmer and more mature, no longer
engaging in childish behavior like nights out with the boys or an
obsession with sports. They even loose their interest in pornography
as their wives recounting of their extramarital exploits, or their
participation in those exploits, becomes much more titillating to
them than the artificial titillation of pornography.
When
my female clients add the uncertainty principle of arousal and denial
to their cuckold marriage a woman can bring her husband back to the
days when they were first dating. Husbands become more focused on
their wives and no longer suffer the frustrating feelings caused by a
desire for unattainable women
Cuckold marriages can
evolve into a great variety of preferences. In my own practice I have
seen cuckold marriages that range from those in which cuckolding
wives enjoy subjecting their husband's to humiliation and punishment,
to those in which wives will have sex with other men in front of her
husband as a form of entertaining them, to just about everything in
between. Most couples in my practice, however, have very loving
marriages with playful arousal and denial that seem conventional in
every way except that the wife dates while her husband remains
faithfully hers.
It is regretful that the cuckold
relationships of Victorian times could not have evolved into an open
way of life accepted by modern society. It is my hope that one day it
will.
Unsatisfied with their white boyfriends and husbands still having normal orgasms, a lot of white women are finding themselves wondering how to effectively use ruined orgasms on them. Here is a quick little guide on how to milk white boys without giving them any sexual pleasure.
1. Edge him
Masturbate him until he is close to orgasm. Be careful not to tip him over the edge, or he will have a full orgasm, which we want to avoid.
2. Get him just over the edge
This is probably the most important step. Once you have him edged, slow down the stimulation. Masturbate him very slowly. The closer he is, the less stimulation there should be. Once he is very close, stop using your entire hand, and instead rub your finger along the head of his penis. When the white boy shows signs of getting close to orgasm, stop stimulation completely for a few seconds. If he does not ejaculate, start rubbing your finger over his penis again. Remember: It is better to stop too early, than too late. The goal is to stop stimulation before he goes over the edge. One of the most common mistakes is to stimulate your white boy until he starts to orgasm.
3. Stop all stimulation
If you have done everything right up to this point, and stopped stimulation just before the tipping point, he should start ejaculating without the typical signs of orgasm. His cum will flow out in a steady stream, and that will be it. He will not get any satisfaction from it. If he tries to stimulate himself at this point, keep him from doing so, or he will have a normal orgasm.
In the case you did something wrong, and he starts to have a normal orgasm, clench down as hard as you can on the base of his penis. Put your hand around it, and press as hard as you can. This will not result in a completely ruined orgasm, but will keep the white boy from having a fully enjoyable orgasm. He will also not ejaculate in this case, and instead the cum will flow out of him the next time he pees. This is best used as an emergency technique to prevent him from having a normal orgasm.