A blog section I see, well let's post something then!

    A bit about myself, I suffer from something known as Social Anxiety Disorder, what's that mean you ask? It means being around other people makes me anxious and uncomfortable. It doesn't sound major at first, but that's mostly because people without the problem can't understand the way someone with the disorder is thinking. To try to sum it up, every action and though is analyzed and scrutinized. For me, I don't like being seen when I check my mail, leave my apartment, or go to my car. I feel that when people see me it's with a look of disgust, and yes that's any person I see looking at me. To make it worse when in public I feel people are looking at me, or thinking ill of me just because I am there. I hate having my phone ring nor do I like having to make phone calls. And that is the brief version, much more happens but I don't want to go on about it for the entire blog. If you'd like to know more about it or think you might have the same disorder, watch this YouTube documentary on Social Phobia (aka Social Anxiety Disorder) http://youtu.be/gmEJEfy5f50

    I also suffer from depression, something that has been with me for half my life... I was diagnosed with both these problems last year, but have had then as I said, for most of my life. Medication I have been taking has helped some, at least with the depression but my anxiety is sort of a day to day thing still, but it has improved a good deal. Due to these problems I was laid off from a job I had for 4 years, and I have been unemployed and on TDI since last November.

    These are the two major problems that have kept me secluded in my own apartment, but because of it I have found some solace on the internet and a knack for using computers and learning new programs. I am told I am intelligent and talented, I can sing, draw, write and act but my conditions keep me from easily seeing what I am capable of. It keeps me from seeing even my own positive characteristics, since I only see what I don't like when I look at myself in a mirror.

    A lot of what I find when looking back, is that I suffered from a large amount of guilt for anything I would think or enjoy. I don't want to fully blame the religion I was raised on, but it had to have more then a little influence on me. Simple normal behavior that all people go through when growing up, pornaography and masturbation are the most common but also the least talked about openly at a young age. Thankfully for me and probably many others, the internet opened many doors for seeing how much porn was out there, and that everyone has some sort of interest in naked fun time at the least.

   Since then I have seen just about every kind of kink and fetish on the internet that I care to (and some I didn't care to...) but it has made me realize at the very least that many people out there have the same sort of interests that I do. If you've looked at my gallaries you'll find I have a bit of a furry fetish, but I have many others such as Hentai, Futa, Pegging, Cartoons, Bondage, Spanking etc. The list goes on, but my varied interests is what has kept me from trying to find a solid relationship with a girl. I find myself being afraid that my kinks are just to much for anyone else to understand or enjoy with me... so I find myself single still at 31 years old. I tell myself that if that someone does exist I need to keep looking for them, but I often find myself losing hope since I already keep to myself most of the time and have difficulty going out and meeting people.

   Dating sites have not done anything for me, but I have a few options besides just posting my likes on imagefap. And I will never stop looking and hoping that I will find that one girl who already owns her own strapon and enjoys pegging ;) since sometimes the hope of finding them is all I have. :P