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Well, I didn't get together with my buddy and his wanna be dominatrix girlfriend! Seems he kept her for himself, selfish bastard!
And my wife wasn't out fucking some guys last Friday. She was out with my lesbian sister! I love my sister, but I know if my wife would swing that way, my sister would steal take my wife from me! As it was, they went to a few of her favorite lez bars! My wife had quite the good time, saying she was felt up a bit and danced a lot! And as she tells me this, I'm hard as a rock, so she sez I'm sick and will have to go without for a few days to think about what I'm implying.
No need to think about it! It's all right here in my captions. And FYI: I know my sister reads these...