I cant belief its 2024!!!!! Omg I'm so fucking old lol I'm 34 now!!! Total MILF LOL or is it cougars I all ways get them mix up. My gf Keisha sort of broke up with me like she still fucks me but has other gfs 2 not exculsive + I feel like im not even 1st choice any more but I'm still total in love with her so it sucks but im trying 2 b so good she wants me back. I still live wit her but alot of nights I have 2 sleep on the couch in the orherroom b case she's fucking an other girl. I don't know what 2 do. My life is all ways fucked up. Some times u feel like I should stop doing drugs + try 2 b straight + live a fucking white life + find some fucking white boy 2 marry me excetp I HATE WHITE EVERYTHJNG. I don't know. I'm depressed I guess. My sister told me im fucked in my head + need therrapy + medds. I went off the medds I was on. I guess I should be kn them + probalby others ones 2. I don't know. I fucking hate life. I hate being whitr. I hate being me. I hate being old. I wish I was young + BLACK + fucking loved life or ehat ever it is normal people do. Does every 1 hate her self like I do??????? is it normal????? I feel so fucked up some times. Some times I feel like I should just suicide. I don't think any body would even care not even my parents or sisters. I don't even know if my daughters would care they don't even see me as there mkm since I am not the 2 raising them. I'm unfit they said + my parents r raising them even thouhgu therr half black. I'm such a fucked up peoce of shit. Why the fuck do I even live
