"I had always told my wife there was no point in hiring a house cleaner if you picked up and cleaned up before they showed up at the house. I have since admitted to her that I was wrong. We accidentally left an extra small condom wrapper on the floor one day. She does not speak very good english, but apparently holding up your little pinky finger and giggling is a universal sign in all languages."
"I guess it's a good thing I have an SPH fetish. In my freshman year at college, a sorority girl heard one of my high school friends call me "Acorn" and asked him where the name originated. In his defense, she was cute and agreed to show him her tits if he told her. Now I get requests from all the drunk girls at parties to "show them the acorn" and they giggle and laugh at it. A couple of guys told me they don't see how I don't get an erection with those pretty girls looking at it. I don't have the guts to tell them that it's as hard and big as it gets when it looks like that. My flaccid penis looks like an "innie" belly button..."
"I'm about the same size as the guy on the left. I would immediately and almost unconsciously become more submissive and feminine around this other guy once I see how big his cock is. I'm sure my voice would even get a bit higher. It's the natural order of things."