"Your wife stayed loyal to the Raiders even when they moved to Vegas, while all your buddies switched to other teams, a lot to the 49ers. She made a bet with them that they could fuck her at the end of the season if their new team had the better record, and well, here she is getting ready for the boys on Draft night as the Raiders have the #1 pick"
"My wife is a huge Jets fan, and my buddy is a die hard Pats fan. They made a bet over who would go to the Super Bowl first, and anytime Patriots went she was his breeding slave until kick off on Super Bowl Sunday, and would keep it and I have to raise it if the Patriots won the Super Bowl. Unfortunately for me, she made this bet right before the Jets knocked out Bledsoe and the Brady era began (here she is, feeling her stomach as the son she didn’t expect to have at 28-3 kicks for the first time)"