"I told her mother (MIL) that taking a vibrator on holiday is a bad idea going through customs, so she decided to use her fist instead, sometimes I have these strokes of genius, why? because HER hands are very small, MY hands are much much bigger "
"How I found her when I turned up, and she had been greasing up her arse just for this, 1 long filthy weekend was in store for her, for me, and for my dog"
"Always on the phone or texting me, she wants her backdoors kicked in 3 times a week, so last weekend she got her wish, all weekend, she could hardly walk, forget high heels, she was bandy legged all sunday evening. Monday she was back for more."
"The return look that says ..... you will beg for more anal before too long, you know it, I know it, stop acting tough and get with the programme .. slut"