"My whole life when I hear people ask what love is or how to know when a girl loves you, I was confused. THIS is love. Obviously. I thought it was common knowledge, are you people not paying attention?"
"Well look at you, someone just earned her freshman year college tuition...and no, Staci can't be a good girl, she is obviously a despicable whore. But I collect those too."
"When your daughter brings a friend home who is willing to fuck both of you. Well, maybe 30 or 40 percent willing...but thats close enough if you have cuffs and a spreader bar. Be prepared, order your gear from Extremerestraints.com BEFORE you need it."
"A padded headboard. This guy is a gentleman. I, on the otherhand , had a solid wood headboard because I like to hear a girls head go THUNK THUNK THUNK OWW!"