"My wife was on a business trip with her boss. She said he got a room with a great balcony but he was afraid of heights. She said she checked out the view from the balcony but he just stayed in the room and took some pictures. They must have had a laundry at the hotel. When she got home the only dirty clothes in her luggage was the outfit she wore there. The rest were neatly folded."
"Oh, you shouldn't lay on the hotel bedspread. Do you know what kind of nasty, perverted sex acts people do on top of those? You don't? Well here, let me show you all of them..."