"Well you clearly went above and beyond. I also appreciated letting my and the execs to relieve our bladders and film the whole think. Unfortunately we discussed this while you were in the shower, and agreed that you are just not company material. We also felt it is important to send the video to the other companies and your friends so they know what you are worth.
But good news, we know men who know how use your talents. We can't tell you where they work, but they'll be happy to pick you up. Dont worry about contacting, we sent them your contact information, they're happy to pick you up."