"Okay, now this is just a downright disgrace. My mom has made an appointment for you at the Nordstrum's lingerie department for a proper brassiere fitting which you WILL NOT miss! She, my wife, my aunt, my sister, and my sister-i-law will be picking you up and taking you, then selecting you new undies that properly reflect and accentuate your sissified status."
"Our family is taking you to the indoor water park next weekend, and this is what you'll be wearing. After you've had some fun in the water, you'll be laid back on a chaise lounge poolside; my mom will be rolling your hair, my wife will be fixing your makeup, and my sister will be painting your fingernails and toenails. The plan is for you to provide comic relief for the raucous high school and college-aged crowd when you're entered as a contestant in the bikini contest against smokin' hot young ladies. Good luck!"
"I'm so NOT a bully in reality, but given the title of your gallery, I'll give it my best shot:
"Dude, in spite of what's written on your tub o' lard great white whale of a waistline, you're not TOTALLY 'useless". At least you can still serve as a shining example for REAL MEN of what NOT to do and who NOT to be, ya jiggly-giggly gynecomastia girly-guy.""
"What an ugly fat fuckin bitch! U worthless pig dressed like a
little sissy I will beat you fat ass and write all over you. Dress
you like a sissy girl and take you around town so everyone
can see what a fat ugly sissy bitch you are!"