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Last week I was feeling very bold , and decided to take a two hour trip to the next big city . I do this so their is no chance I will run into anyone that knows me . Well , I'm at the Barnes and Nobel book store and I spot this lady with wide hips and great rear end . So ...I am all about the adrenaline rush of getting what I call "seat time " and what I mean by that is ...I like to approach women from behind without them knowing it , kneel down right behind them and get my face as close to the seat of their pants as possible , for as long as possible . So , this lady was in a pretty secluded part of the store , no one else around , and she was standing with her back to me . Everything was perfect . I slowly walk up to her , then slowly kneel down so that my face is at an even level with her rear end ...about 2 feet away and then I slowly lean in closer until my face is only a few inches from the seat of her pants . My heart is pounding hard at this point from the fear that she could turn around at any second and bust me ..well ..30 seconds into this ..she did exactly that . I tried to say something of an explanation to her as to why I was all up in her rear end , but I had no words , I stood up real quick and started toward the front door quickly . I heard her say "oh my god, are you kidding me ?" I made it to my vehicle and that's when I realized she was following me in the parking lot , right up to my car . I quickly pulled my phone out and started shooting video for my safety , I didnt know what she was going to do . She started asking me what the hell I was doing , and I quickly said I had knelt down to tie my shoe and became distracted for a moment . I don't think she believed me ..and I can't blame her . She then stormed off back toward the store and I got the hell out of that parking lot .
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