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The purpose of an ashtray is to serve as a receptacle for ash and a place to extinguish cigarette butts. To act as such a receptacle for a woman classifies you as the lowest of the low, to only be worthy of the waste product of a dirty habit. Perhaps that's why you let it happen in the first place, because you've emboldened these dirty women with power because they're aware of the dangers and dirty nature of the habit and they just don't care. In fact, you admire them for their courage and willingness to do what they want, when they want, and if humiliating you happens in the process, then that's their right.