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I return home from my Sunday golf game to find my girlfriend irritated with me. She’s been mowing the lawn and cleaning out the garage, and now she’s going to make me pay for her shitty day. “You said you’d be home 2 hours ago!” She does not sound happy. “I, uh…we had a couple beers after golf…” I stammered. She grabs my hand, and leads me down the stairs to her exercise room. Plopping down on the judo mat, she peels off her dirty old sneakers. As she lets her hot, sweaty feet air out, she describes how she’ going to throw me around like a small, disobedient child, and how she’s going to smother me unconscious with her strong, ripe feet!