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Ode to female parts!! | “Attributed to A.P.Herbert” | | The portion of a woman that appeals to man’s depravity | Is fashioned with considerable care, | And what would at first appear to be a simple cavity | Is really an elaborate affair. | | Now doctors of distinction have studied the phenomena | In various experimental dames | And have listed all they found in the femina abdomina | And given them all delightful latin names. | | There’s the Vulva, the Vagina and the dear old Perineum, | The Hymen (which is sometimes found in brides) | And lots of other little things, you’d love to see ’em | The Clitoris, and God knows what besides. | | Now isn’t it a pity when we common people chatter | Of the mysteries to which I’ve just referred | That we use for such a complicated matter | Such a short and unattractive word….”