"To have fun, well-behaved girls take their dog into the bedroom. Similarly, well-behaved boys take their monkey to bed. Precisely for this reason, pets should not be missing in any good family!"
"My mum used to make me wear her knickers to school the day after she'd worn them. They were often still wet like this and heavily stained with her discharge but despite the smell, she would insist I wore them so that she knew she was close to me all the time."